[CHANGES] Hello again

[Sandra Ahten]

Sorry I've been so neglectful in writing to you. I have been struggling 
again with my own diet, my own schedule, my own issues… but I had an 
awakening this week. It seems that it is all in my head. It is truly all in 
my head. My life is really so good, yet I was constantly feeling overwhelmed 
at all there was to do. I had to turn it around and just realized that there 
are thousands of opportunities, but that is just what they are -- an 
opportunity to eat healthy, and opportunity to buy the groceries, and 
opportunity to go visit with my son, and opportunity to create a web page. 
None of it is mandatory and as long as I was feeling pressure to do it - I 
was enjoying none of it. I wasn't even enjoying my "down time." It felt 
almost like another thing on my to-do list.

I was getting sick of hearing myself say how busy and overwhelmed I was. So 
last week I hit a bottom with it and decided that it truly was all in my 
head. If lightening my schedule by resigning from Weight Watchers didn't do 
it -- what would? Well I remember my answer. Spirit was the answer.  I 
needed to allow Spirit to manifest in my life by having quiet time and self 
care. I needed to put this first and not expect that it would be results of 
all that I do.

So instead of hitting the floor running these last three mornings I took 
time to great the day. I wrote in my journal. Did a meditation. Thanked my 
Higher Power for all my opportunities and decided which ones I realistically 
wanted to pursue for the day.

The results have been so refreshing. Today I actually laughed out loud -- 
and I knew it was a switch because it felt almost foreign. I decided to go 
with my husband on a vacation that we had planned for months -- even though 
it meant missing my reception at the Verde Gallery where my art is being 
displayed. I was so torn about this, fearful of the lost opportunities that 
it might represent, sorry that I would be disappointing so many people. But 
then I remembered that I truly can't plan the outcome. If I go on the 
vacation -- perhaps I will meet some art gallery owner that has a different 
opportunity. If disappoint someone by not being there -- perhaps they'll 
turn to someone else and meet a new friend. I can not plan the results… I 
just have to do the steps.

I'm not trying to be preachy here, but I've learned this lesson over and 
over again. Doing God's will does not mean that I have to find the exact 
right path that is God's will.  Rather I pray for God's will -- then make 
the decision and then let God meet me where I am at. It is so much less 
stressful than trying to make the map to get to a pot of gold, a treasure 
that it usually more than I could even conceive of.

I hope I'm making sense. I hope I'm not offending you. I'm letting go of my 
need for approval here. Sending this email though it hasn't been proof read. 
Sending it even though it may be more than any of you bargained for when you 
signed up for my list. (Yes, I do have some new great recipes I'll be 
sharing soon, -- but those DO have to be proof read.)

Tomorrow I'm on my way to Austin Texas for a music festival and to visit 
galleries. I'll be sending my art class list in the next email. I'd love to 
hear from any of you. You can send an email and I'll respond next week.

Thank for reading. Sandra

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