[Dryerase] Alarm!--Can You Believe It?

[Alarm!Wires]

Can You Believe It?

Carjacker Gets Impromptu Martial Arts Training
LOS ANGELES—Tyrone Jermaine Hogan picked the wrong car to mess with when 
he attempted to carjack the Florida International University judo team.
After having completed one carjacking that evening, Hogan drove six 
blocks to a service station where he encountered a member of the team 
and attempted to reach in the van and steal the keys. The men proceeded 
to wrestle him to the floor until the police got there. “We had this guy 
like a pretzel on the ground,” said instructor Nestor Bustillo. Looks 
like Hogan needs to go back to carjacking school.
SOURCE: bizarrenews.com

“That’s a wrap Mr. President”
According to CNN and The New York Times, former President Bill Clinton 
plans to step back onto a television near you. Discussions with major 
network stations such as CBS have the rumor mill running. Word has it 
that the former Head of State could fetch the largest salary ever for a 
new-comer to the talk show scene. With an estimated salary of $30–50 
million dollars, Mr. Clinton may easily trump Oprah or Ricki when it 
comes to silly things TV execs will do to keep us watching!

I Said, “Give Me the King!”
Of all the wild and wondrous items to be found at the National Archives, 
apparently the most popular one requested is the 1970 photo of Elvis 
Prestley and Richard Nixon. Taken on December 21, 1970 the photo 
opportunity presented itself when the King showed up in his black cape 
and requested audience with the President to discuss the possibility of 
him becoming a “federal agent at large.”
The King apparently wanted to offer his services to the country because 
he saw the advantage he had as an entertainer. People don’t seem so 
interested in why Elvis went to the White House. Instead, they want to 
have a photo of the thirty-five-year-old King with the pre-Watergate 
President.

The New Style Shot-gun Wedding
Go on a vacation, fall in love, want to get married immediately. It is a 
real dilemma for some new, or not new, couples. But fear not, a solution 
is out there.
Ask for a “lay-over” in Stockholm and for a mere $200 you can get 
hitched right in the airport. Performed in the VIP lounge you can 
request a church or civil wedding and be off in just thirty minutes.
Coordinators can assist the newlyweds with items such as catering and  
flowers for a nominal fee. For those on the go, a same-day departure can 
be coordinated and they can be off on their honeymoon faster than you 
can say, “here’s the number of a good divorce attorney.”

Shall We Bury Mom or Wear Her
Apparently gone are the days of burying a relative or sending them to 
cremation. Instead bring on the days of taking those who have deceased 
and transforming them into jewelry.
A Chicago-based company claims it can make “blue diamonds” out of the 
remains of your loved one.
Perfecting the process in July, the company says its technology uses 
simple heat and pressure to transform the remains (carbon) into gems 
(diamonds).
The cost for a .25 carat is $4,000 and the items can be mounted to be 
worn as other jewelry.
 
   All content Copyleft © 2002 by The Alarm! Newspaper. Except where 
noted otherwise, this material may be copied and distributed freely in 
whole or in part by anyone except where used for commercial purposes or 
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