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<td align=left colspan="2"><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1" color="#3333cc"><b>Dear Everybody,</b></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1"><br>
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Sorry we haven’t written a newsletter in about three weeks – our programmer came down with a serious case of crappy-coding so, we were unable to send out a newsletter in time for the holidays.<br>
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Anyway, I hope you’ve had a splendid holiday! My family and I celebrated Kwanzaa this year, because my father told us we had to "get back to our roots." At first, I was like, "Dad, but we’re not black. Kwanzaa is a festive African American Holiday that celebrates the greatness of African American culture and heritage." <br>
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My father looked at me like I was an alien and said, "Get this shit, Slippy: You’re black."<br>
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"That’s wack," I replied, "You’ve got to be trippin’."<br>
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"No dog, this shit’s for real," my father continued, while sipping an eggnog. "Your momma was black, and her momma’s momma was black – I am black – however, you’re an albino.<br>
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"Oh," I said.<br>
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</font><img src="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/images/mail/new-header.jpg" width="540" height="35" border="0"><br>
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<img src="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/images/mail/puffy.jpg" width="110" height="100" border="0" align="right"><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1" color="#e61f2a"><b>•
<a href="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/util/mthru.asp?Mail_ID=44&Mail_Type=1&User_ID=93611&P=http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britney_breasts.asp">THE MYSTERY OF BRITNEY SPEARS' BREASTS</a>:</b></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1"> My god, does this girl have huge knockers! Well, no she doesn’t. But, then again, her breasts are very, very big. No, just kidding, they’re no bigger than a Tic-Tac. Ok, I guess I’m confused. Watch this animation and maybe you could solve the mystery of Britney Spears’ Breasts. This is one of the most popular things on our site so make sure you see it.<br>
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</font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1" color="#e61f2a"><b>•
<a href="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/util/mthru.asp?Mail_ID=44&Mail_Type=1&User_ID=93611&P=http://www.liquidgeneration.com/fullscreen.html">TALK OF THE TOWN</a>:</b></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1"> If you thought that regular, everyday people talk about nothing all day then you’re clearly listening in on the wrong crowd. We aimed our cameras on ugly people, rapping Santas, and Sean Connery – hear what interesting stories they have to tell you today!<br>
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</font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1" color="#e61f2a"><b>•
<a href="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/util/mthru.asp?Mail_ID=44&Mail_Type=1&User_ID=93611&P=http://www.liquidgeneration.com/karaoke/karaoke_winona.asp">WINONA RYDER KARAOKE MACHINE</a>:</b></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1"> Guess who had to return their gifts this season? Yes, that’s right, Winona Ryder. In this week’s karaoke, Winona Ryder sings about her big boobs, kleptomania, and low serotonin and melatonin levels.<br>
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</font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1" color="#e61f2a"><b>•
<a href="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/util/mthru.asp?Mail_ID=44&Mail_Type=1&User_ID=93611&P=http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/animals_heat1.asp">ANIMALS IN HEAT</a>:</b></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="-1"> It's LiquidGeneration's answer to really BAD sitcoms! Join Frankie, Oingo and Blaine, 3 of the horniest animals around, sitting in a coffee shop and talk about... what else, sex!<br>
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Finally...<br>
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</font><font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size="-1" color="#3333cc"><b>THE LETTER OF THE WEEK!</b></font><font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size="-1"><br>
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</font><font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size="-1">FROM: ROSS FROM ENGLAND<br>
TO: LIQUIDGENERATION HEADQUARTERS<br>
<br>
</font><font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size="-1" color="#3333cc"><i>Damn right ur site is full of some fucked up shit, I luved ur Osama video and everything else, th links are great, but then the Harry Potter interview is released, which offends every British person, not just that idiot Harry Potter...I find that shit pretty damn offensive, and am damn well disappointed with u guys...and I can bet u got a lot of British hits on ur site...</i></font><font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size="-1"><br>
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Listen, you bloke. We won the Revolutionary War, and both of us signed a treaty. So can we please get along?<br>
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God save the queen,<br>
<br>
LIQUIDGENERATION<br>
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<img src="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/images/mail/slippy.gif" width="113" height="180" border="0" align="left"><br>
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<font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size="-1">Slippy Jenkins.<br>
Writer / Video Guy</font></td>
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<td bgcolor=#ffffff><font face=verdana,arial,helvetica
size=-2>We hope you enjoyed our weekly update. We have sent it to you
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e-mails of this sort from LiquidGeneration.com, please click <A
href="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/util/remove.asp?User_EMail=imc@urbana.indymedia.org">This
Text Right Here Over Yonder</A>.
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