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<DIV><SPAN lang=EN-US><FONT face=Calibri>I very Canadian tongue-in-cheek satire
of the US-Mexico immigration issue as seen from Canadian eyes and
perspective as if it were an issue between Canada and the US with the US being
Mexico.</FONT> </SPAN></DIV>
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<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: black"
lang=EN-US><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
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lang=EN-US> </SPAN></B><B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Helvetica','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Immigration
problem in Canada</SPAN></B><SPAN
style="COLOR: black"><O:P></O:P></SPAN></P></DIV>
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<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Helvetica','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">The
Manitoba Herald<BR>as reported by Clive Runnels, August 1, 2010<BR><BR><BR>The
flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the
illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an
exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,
pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.<BR><BR>Canadian border
farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors,
animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.<BR><BR>"I
went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer
huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage
borders North Dakota. <BR><BR>“The producer was cold, exhausted and
hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my
screenplay, eh?"<BR><BR>In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield
erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed
loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields.<BR><BR>"Not real
effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows
so much that they wouldn't give any milk."<BR><BR>Officials are particularly
concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them
into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are
simply left to fend for themselves.<BR><BR>"A lot of these people are not
prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said.
"I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water.
They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."<BR><BR>When
liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly
that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where
liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.<BR><BR>In
recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap
Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in
powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses
and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney
to prove that they were alive in the '50s.<BR><BR>"If they can't identify the
accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about
their age," an official said.<BR><BR>Canadian citizens have complained that the
illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all
the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but
the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said.
"How many art-history majors does one country need?"<BR><BR>In an effort
to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met
with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take
steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're
going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And
we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The
President is determined to reach out," he said.</SPAN><SPAN
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<P class=MsoNormal><BR><BR clear=all><BR>-- <BR>Mitchell J. Goldberg<BR>Attorney
- Avocat - Abogado<BR>1635 Sherbrooke St. West, Suite 400<BR>Montréal, Québec,
H3H 1E2<BR>Canada<BR>Tél: (514) 844-7528<BR>Fax: (514) 935-2663<BR><A
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