<div><br></div>betcha dollar john cleese never said this<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Apr 2, 2011 at 3:03 PM, Jenifer Cartwright <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:jencart13@yahoo.com">jencart13@yahoo.com</a>></span> wrote:<br>
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<td><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>John
Cleese And The Terror Threat Level Of Nations</strong></font><br>
<br>
<font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><strong>*The
British response to terrorist threats.</strong> Many
thanks to my favorite funny Englishman, John Cleese,
for the following:<br>
<br>
<blockquote>The English are concerned about the recent
increase in terrorist activities, and have therefore
raised their security level from "miffed" to
"peeved." If the threats continue to grow, the
security levels may be raised to "irritated" or even
"a bit cross." (The English have not seen "a bit
cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies
nearly ran out.)<br>
<br>
Terrorists have been recategorized from "tiresome"
to "a bloody nuisance." The last time Britain issued
"a bloody nuisance" warning was in 1588, when Spain
launched the Spanish Armada.<br>
<br>
The Scots have raised their threat level from
"pis*ed off" to "let's go get the bas*ards." They
don't have any other levels—which is why they have
been placed on the front lines of the British Army
for the last 300 years.<br>
<br>
The French government announced that it has raised
its terror alert from "run" to "hide." The only two
higher levels in France are "collaborate" and
"surrender."<br>
<br>
Meanwhile, the Spanish are excited to see that their
new submarines are ready to deploy. These beautiful
new vessels have glass bottoms, so the Spanish
sailors can get a really good look at the old
Spanish navy.<br>
<br>
Down under, Australia has raised its security level
from "no worries, mate" to "she'll be all right."
The next escalation would be "we may need to cancel
the barbie this weekend." The final level is
"Crikey! The barbie is cancelled." Australia has
never faced a crisis so severe that it merited this
highest level.<br>
<br>
</blockquote>
Thank you to John Cleese, British writer, actor and
very tall person with a funny walk, for today's laugh.<br>
<br>
<em>--Chip Wood</em></font><font face="Times New
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<br></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Robert Naiman<br>Policy Director<br>Just Foreign Policy<br><a href="http://www.justforeignpolicy.org" target="_blank">www.justforeignpolicy.org</a><br><a href="mailto:naiman@justforeignpolicy.org" target="_blank">naiman@justforeignpolicy.org</a><br>
<br> <br>