[Cu-wireless] Wireless as Suspicious Activity
sascha at ucimc.org
Wed Feb 26 12:37:53 CST 2003
On Wed, 26 Feb 2003, Mike Lehman wrote:
> Courtesy of Cryptome.
I always suspected that Stephane was a threat to Canada -- now I have the
Next up --
All I-books deemed threat to national security
February 29, 2003
Urbana, IL: This morning John Ashcroft declared all computers capable of
creating computer viruses a serious threat to American National Interests.
Claiming that in the hands of terroris these devices could be utilized for
great harm, Ashcroft detailed his concerns, "Anyone with access to a
computer with a keyboard can create a computer virus capable of dealing
billions of dollars in dammage. This process, called 'programming' is
being undertaken right now, as we speak, by evildoers and poses a direct
threat to national security. The question is, are we going to just wait
until the threat happens, or are we going to be proactive in eliminating
these weapons of mass destruction?"
Though initially derided by the computer industry as "inane",
"stupendously dumb", and "un-fuckin-believable", after the first round of
computer agitator and terrorist arrests, the furor has died down.
Presidential spokesman Ari Filcher called critics "anti-ludite hippies"
and "techno-terrorists", a reference to something very bad. He continued,
"We are not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to use computers --
that is why every American family will be allowed to own both Tivo and a
'Speak-and-Spell' -- a computing device that, in fact, has a built in
keyboard. We anticipate that these two devices alone will drastically
reduce these terrorist activitities while at the same time increasing
literacy across the nation."
Asked about how this new initiative would fit with the "Total Information
Awareness" project, George Bush responded, "There are two tactics one can
take -- the first is to create systems capable of knowing everything. I
just followed the lead of my favorite political philosopher and most
favoritist book. While some say I'm high in religiousity-ness, I say,
'Hey, it's the number one best-seller of all time.'" When prompted to
discuss the second tactic, Bush matter-of-factly stated, "Well, the second
option is simply to reduce information to a state where we already know
Mr. Bush also mentioned that Palm Pilots and other electronic organizers
may also have to be restricted to ensure the safety of the general public.
"Telephones", he continued, "also have a keyboard -- we should probably
look into that as terrorists could send 'coded messages' in the form of
very long phone numbers."
Following a Democratic outcry in the Congress the administration has
curbed back its initial plans -- "Originally, the wanted to remove all
computers." stated Democratic party leader Whoosit, "Today I'm hear to
inform the public that they'll be able to keep their computer...just not
their keyboards." Asked about laptop computers George Bush stated that
they would "have to go -- it's simply too dangerous to put that sort of
power in the hands of crazy people."
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