[Imc-newsroom] Conference Bag Found.

[Sascha Meinrath]

April 14, 2002

Urbana, IL (IMC)  The "missing" conference bag was found this afternoon.
Production room security forces have maintained a tight cordon around the
production facilities claiming that the area is still too messy for entry.
Eyewitnesses claim that the conference bag was found in the archive file
cabinet to the left of the door.  However, we cannot confirm these
people's reality since they do not carry press credentials -- well,
actually they do, but they don't work for a _really_ prestigious news
agency so we choose not to believe them anyway.

While IMC reporters claim that the bag has been found, production-room
security personnel state that several field bags have been checked out of
the IMC and it is impossible to know if any _specific_ conference bag has
been found.  International production-bag identifiers have asked for
access to the production room, but have been refused entry until the
"situation has settled."  Meanwhile CNN, ABC, and CBS news report that
Colin Powell today declared that the conference bag "may, or may not, have
been missing, but was most probably black in color."

--Sascha