[Newspoetry] resending "Season's Greetings from..."

[Paul Kotheimer]

(apologies for the garbled version of this.  somehow, this Telnet program
read the TRADEMARK symbols i inserted after "First McDonald's on the
Moon," and "Monsanto Chicken" as reset cursor commands, or something) 

SEASON'S GREETINGS FROM THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

[December 26, 2039, audio portion of transmission on channel 3562 of "Good
Morning, North America!" simulcast on 4320 as "Good Afternoon, Europe!
(AmerEnglish version)."] 


Good morning and good afternoon, viewers around the globe, and a great day
to you from our studios atop the American MilleniumDome inside the crater
Tycho Brae, home of the First McDonald's on the Moon.  Hope everyone had a
great holiday.

We've got a lovely earthrise peeking up here as you can see, just beyond
the golden arches, and it looks like it's going to be a marvelous day.
I'll be honing my swing on the ten-mile golf green with Tiger Woods Junior
later on, but first here's a look at what's coming your way here on ITN,
the InfoTainment Network.

Starting at 0840 EST, we'll have an exclusive interview with President
Courtney Love. We'll be talking your calls about diplomatic policy and the
Galilean Moons Conference. Later on in the afternoon (for our European
Audiences) we'll be bringing you the cryogenic rebirth of Walt Disney.
That broadcast, by the way, will be live from Mona Lisa Land high atop the
Eifel Tower, and will be brought to you by Calvin Klein enviroware, the
designer gear with an atmosphere, and of course EuroDisney-inviting you to
sample its latest exhibit, Indonesia, co-sponsored by Coke, with
sub-orbital shuttles leaving from downtown Paris to sunny Jakarta every
hour on the hour.  It's the real thing, and it's a small world after all.

But before all of that, let's have a look at sports and weather:  In
genetically modified bovine basketball last night, the Bulls beat the
Chargers 1,124 to 927 in a heated round of overtime.  That plucky mascot,
the Monsanto Chicken, was there, urging on the fans with a little bit of
zany antics.  Here's a clip We'll have lots more sports at the top of the
hour.

In our satellite view of North America, it looks like it's going to be
shaping up really nicely on the West Coast this morning.  No more of those
nasty winds hitting the Sacramento shoreline.  Things are looking fairly
good outside the nuclear burn zone east of the Rockies.  Expect some
delays, though, if your shuttling out of O'Hare Spaceport in Chicago, as
we're looking at some unseasonably high ultraviolet radiation throughout
the Great Lakes region due to some slow-going repairs on the DaleyDome.  

Most of the East Coast is still under water after a rough hurricane
season, as we can see in this radar scan.  New York City Mayor Chelsea
Clinton has had to issue a stay-at-home order to some forty million
would-be commuters and visitors for the third day in a row.  Here we have
a shot of some unhappy cabbies in their ReneaultChrysler
gondola-mobiles-Can't get a fare, can ya, guys?  Look for things to clear
up by the weekend there. 

Well, that's about it for weather and sports down at home on the Big Blue
Marble.  Boy, after seeing that Manhattan clip, I'm glad to be up here on
Tycho, where it's nice and dry!  Let's take a break for our sponsors, and
come back with some kitchen tips from our own Sofie Baxter.  She'll be
checking out a few new ways to spice up those microfreez HyperVeggies
everyone's talking about, right after this.


--Paul Kotheimer