[Newspoetry] Y2K in the Eyes of a Prog Rammer

[Bill Wendling]

I've been asked to write a missive about what Y2K means to the body
programmer. Here is my treatise. It is 4:25am and I'm supposed to be up
in 5 hours.

	Y2K

* It's more than just a buzz word. It means a new life for aging COBOL
  programmers. Old Programmer Homes were scoured to find anyone who knew
  this programming language well enough to fix a company's key systems
  within a year or less. These programmers, who were cast to the wayside
  before, will be cast away again once the new year has come and gone.
  Companies will go back to redesigning already working systems in sexy
  languages such as C++, Java, ADA, and others of their ilk because it
  looks good on their company's dossier.

* Programmers and computer operators in general were once thought of as
  gods and goddesses who could encant complex sequences of characters to
  make systems run and to cull information from them. Once computers
  became commonplace, the Great Unwashed was able to perform functions
  which before were known only to the gurus. The facade started to fail.
  People realized that some of these programs were buggy and didn't do
  what they wanted and crashed their computers. They saw the man behind
  the curtain. Y2K is yet another stone around the neck of demigogury
  which programmers once enjoyed.

* Programmers are assured of a continuing job for years to come. Most, if
  not all, new hires at companies were to throw more people at fixing the
  Y2K bug. Normal development all but ceased at most places. If we still
  have electricity in the new age, then programmers will eat and eat
  well.

* Most programmers will be relieved once this irrelevent milestone has
  been reached. Other calandars record the date as being far greater than
  2000. However, people seem to like even numbers. Some even believe God
  to like them as well. Similar hysteria was evident around 1000AD.

* But, most importantly, the year 2000 DOES NOT mark the beginning of the
  new millinium. The new millinium starts in 2001. (Note, there couldn't
  have been a year 0 since 0 didn't exist when they created the
  Gregorian calandar).

Laural are hard to rest upon...they itch...

Yr Friendly Neighborhood Poet,
Bill