[Newspoetry] items from our catalog

[William Gillespie]

I used to be a hippy but I gave it all up for Italian espresso and the
Segovia Collection.

Items From Our Catalog

Here at Amalgamated Concerns, we've found a way that you can save money
while you overthrow capitalism. Our catalog offers the very latest line
of environmentally-conscious knick-knacks. These products are intended
to clutter your home, not our natural landfills.

To demonstrate the depth of our commitment, ten percent of the first
penny you spend on these products is given to Citizens for a Democratic
Democracy (CDD) who are working to make Democracy Democratic. Working to
make Democracy work.

Rainforest Cigarettes

These all-natural cigarettes are rolled from a fine blend of Virginia
tobacco and plants imported from the Brazilian Rainforests. Imagine the
teeming diversity or a rainforest in a cigarette. No filters means less
waste. Contains no artificial plants.

Compost-Scented Candles

Fill your home with the aroma of fresh earth. These long-burning tallow
candles smell like the real thing. Light one up and imagine you are
giving back to the earth what you took.

Eight-grain Tofu Beer

This unusual beverage packs a day's worth of fermented nutrition into an
eight percent alcohol count. Ouch!

Vegan Hunting Trophies

Add a touch of simulated elegance to your oak-paneled study with our
Moose Head (tofu mousse of course) Or Yarrow Root antlers, mounted on
simulated wood.

Dreadlock Trimmer

Fashion accessory for your high-maintenance dreadlocks.

Che' Chips

A revolutionary snack, made from Bolivian corn.

Greenhouse Hairspray

Be reminded of ozone depletion as you dress for a day of canvassing, or
for a night out .

Tie-Dyed Cat

The latest in our line of alternative pets. Check out the psychedelic
patterns on our groovy kitten Starwaves.

Hemp Condoms

All-natural fibers mark this reusable organic prophylactic.

(This catalog made from recycled trees)