[Newspoetry] newspoetry shortage looms

[Joe Futrelle]

Newspoets,

Well, Newspoetry has had another banner month, unlike certain stock
indicies which we need not elaborate on.  However the great millenial
Newspoetry glut of the winter has given way to a trickle and we are
now faced with that most serious of Newspoetry situations: a shortage.
We should join OPEC in expanding our production, so that Newspoetry
consumers aren't forced to pay a premium at the pump for their poetry.
I call upon all able-bodied Newspoets to reach for the nearest muse,
flip on CNN, whip out a copy of USA Today (Seventeen will do just fine
in a pinch) and get cracking on some spring Newspoetry.  Our revered
founder leads the charge with "Spring is Coming".  Let's not be shy
here folks.

Your Editor