[Newspoetry] NASDAQ Newspoem - Dateline NYC

[Nick Montfort]

Here is the promised contribution from William and myself, in reaction to
the market's "roller-coaster" "bungee-jump." It was indeed written at
McSorleys. The space indentation indicates a second (and in some cases
third) deck for the headline, some of which are WSJ/NYT style front page
headlines (with several decks of similar size) and some of which are not.

The title: "Glut in Headline Market Takes Tropes To New Low."

Investors Wise Up -- For A Moment

Nasdaq Gets Vertigo, Nosebleed

Market Prices Go Down Suddenly, Then Go Back Up 
 Journalists Desperate For Metaphors

Nasdaq Comes From Behind To Trounce Third World, Environment, Common Sense

Titanic Tech Stock Gains Hit Iceberg

Nasdaq Gets Knocked Down, But It Gets Up Again
"You Never Gonna Keep Me Down," Say Investors

Bloodied Nasdaq Finds Victory Using Crane Kick

Nasdaq In Free Fall, But Secondary Chute 0pens

Stock Market Lets Down Hair
 Investors Climb To Tower

Market Fails, Investors Seek Meaningful Work

Tech Stock Market Descends Into Chaos, Ascends Into Semblance Of Order

Nasdaq Undergoes Correction
 But Editor Writes "Stet"

Market Undergoes Nasty Redaction

Stock Market Drowns, Washes Up On Shore
 Dow Jones, Nasdaq Revived By Lifeguard In Tender Scene

Dow Throws Self Off Building
 Index Wafted Heavenward By Mysterious Updraft

Nasdaq Droops, Disappointing Investors
 Later Trading Stimulates Stock Prices, Arousing Another Round Of Heavy
Trading

Dow Jones, Nasdaq Recover
 May Feel Hung Over In Morning

Technology-Laden Nasdaq Index Enters Hell, Heaven

Nasdaq Descends To Wine Cellar
 Returns With Vintage Beaujolais
  Finds Cork Disintegrated

North Pole Moves South, Stabilizes

Nasdaq's Free Fall Followed By Resilient Spring

Tech Stocks Ship Tremendous Amounts Of Water
 Investors Ardently Pump Bilge To Rescue Nasdaq

Rich Get Poorer, Richer
 Poor Remain Poor

Nasdaq Slain, Reincarnated By Merciful Dungeon Master
 Slight Loss of Hit Points

Tech Stocks Flushed
 Toilet Overflows
  Greenspan Refuses Plunger

Middle-Aged White Men Desperately Sell Stocks Early On, Then Furiously Buy
Them

Tech Stocks Born Again

Dow Jones Falls Out Of Airplane, Activates Rocket Pack, Runs Out Of Fuel,
Activates Parachute, Is Propelled Upward By Updraft From Erupting Volcano

Nasdaq Capsizes
 Stocks Almost Sink To Dow Jones' Locker

Nasdaq's Bubble Bursts
 Market Blows New Bubble

Queasy Investors Throw Up On Floor, Feel Better

-Nick Montfort   nickm at media.mit.edu    http://www.media.mit.edu/~nickm