[Newspoetry] Missing Hat!

[Rob Wittig]

now I aint sayin nothin
but if and it just might happen
that a certain said hat
were to be in a certain meplapolitan location
say, chicago
and of course
no claims is being made one way or the other
such a said hat
was to be in the posseshkamon of a certain party
who is very partyicular about the care and feedin of hats
as it were
and great care an attention was bein devoted to
shall we say
quotes preserve unquotes
the aforesaid hat from any like
damage
then woun't it stan to reason
that the beforementioned former owner
of the said hat
would spontaneamuskly feel obligegated
to reunberse the party of the second part
to wit the hat caretaker you might say
to the tune of
oh let's talk a minimum
I mean a minimum your nowadays preservation of a hat
oh jeez
hat preservation?
hat preservation in the year 2000?
on the innernational market
christ that runs you at least a minimum of
500 zords
just as you know what I'm saying a
courtesy
to the hat preserver
as you might have it
I could perhaps pass the
word
along to such a hapothetical hat preservation organization
so this is just a word you heard from no one
not from me
I said nothing
I heard nothing
I'm Sargeant Schultz
I know nussing
I aint sayin nothin


----- Original Message -----
From: Dirk Stratton <strattdj at email.uc.edu>
To: <newspoetry at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu>
Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2000 5:54 PM
Subject: Re: [Newspoetry] Missing Hat!


> As one of the people Wm is trying to protect from "Urbana-exclusive"
> (inclusive?) messages on the Newspoetry list, let me add my 2 cents
> [sidenote: whatever happened to the 'cents' symbol on keyboards? what
> insidious plot forces us to use the $-sign (as in $0.02) if we wish
> to not spell out the word cents? does it make sense to eliminate the
> cents-symbol? perhaps there should be a Newspoetry investigation into
> this not-so-vital issue . . .].
>
> Frankly, I don't mind Urbana-only messages. I don't know who's been
> complaining, but it sure hasn't been me. Perhaps because I've
> actually been to Urbana a few times and met and partied with many of
> the individuals who have left such messages makes me an exception to
> the rule, but actually, I think it's kind of charming. Maybe the
> complainants receive far more e-mail than I and are irritated at
> having to deal with non-germane posts, but if it is an annoyance (and
> I certainly don't find it so) it is decidedly a minor one. But maybe
> that's just me. For me such messages reinforce the essentially
> personal and interpersonal nature of the Newspoetry enterprise and
> reminds us that Urbana currently supports the largest contingent of
> Newspoets in the world. Such a critical mass, I believe, deserves a
> little leeway. Besides that, while before I was totally ignorant of
> the fact that Bill even owned a hat, now I am considerably intrigued
> by the mystery. And how do we know, at this early stage, whether or
> not the disappearing hat will remain a local issue? Could it be the
> signal event in something with a much broader scope than we can now
> imagine?
>
> And Wm, now addressing you in particular, weren't you the one who
> told me that the greatest accomplishment of Newspoetry was the
> creation of the Newspoetry list which inspired so many people who
> previously had not self-identified themselves as writers to actually
> begin writing? Don't you imagine that in part this occurred because
> of the friendly, down-home, intimate feel of the list-postings in
> general? In other words, doesn't this aspect of the list promote
> community, even if some of the members, like myself, aren't within
> spitting distance of the actual community in Urbana?
>
> I don't know. Again, maybe it's just me.
>
> --Dirk (in Cincinnati, but still wondering about Bill's hat--but in a
> good way!)
>
> >The purpose of this message is to address complaints I have received
about
> >this list being used for Urbana-only announcements regarding neither news
> >nor poetry. It is unlikely, for example, that correspondents living in
> >Chicago, Cincinnati, Boston, San Diego, or England have Bill's hat. Hell,
I
> >live in Urbana, and I don't even have Bill's hat. "What hat," they are
> >wondering, "and who's Bill?" Such people would doubtlessly approach such
an
> >email message the way one might approach a meeting of the WEFT
Associates,
> >or the Bulletin Board at the Food Co-op, if you know what I mean. Let's
try
> >to keep the cardinals off the purple coneflowers, if possible. I mean,
how
> >would you feel if you were smoking hand-rolled cigarettes made with
Cherry
> >tobacco from Jon's Pipe Shop, reading the Octopus with Dave King in the
> >bowling alley at the Illini Union, and Chief Illiniwek walked up to you
and
> >said "While I agree with the aims of the PRC, I think it is rife with
> >internal political maneuvering and suffers from the machismo of some of
the
> >older activists." Pretty weird, I bet, and that's exactly my point. But
> >this isn't just about the missing hat of a guy who is so relentlessly
> >extroverted that he's been in 46 Newspoets' houses all over the world in
> >the past week alone. (That's the power of Birkenstocks!) Try to look at
it
> >their way: I mean, there they are trying to cross Vine street on Elm to
get
> >to the Elite Diner, but they can't get any farther than the brick median
> >strip because the students are back in town. It's like arriving at the
> >Courier Cafe' when they're out of croissants and the salad bar has
already
> >been taken down. They probably feel like taking a walk down by the
> >abandoned water tower near the train station, or just enjoying a Bob at
the
> >Paradiso, but they can't, because they have to cook a vegan dinner of
> >organic eggplant from the Blue Moon farm for the School for Designing
> >Society. See what I mean? Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to start a
> >controversy about Democracy Now or write an angry riposte to Carl
> >Estabrook's latest "News from Neptune," believe me, I'm just trying to
find
> >a parking space so I can return some Lyn Hejinian books to the stacks and
> >maybe take in some Thai food at the Y Eatery. Please don't think that I'm
> >State Representative Johnson voting against an amendment to protect
people
> >from discrimination based on sexual orientation. So, when posting to the
> >Newspoetry list, please try to be respectful of those who are least
likely
> >to have your hat.
> >
> >Our Founder
> >
> >Bill Wendling wrote:
> >
> >  > You've seen it.
> >  > You've loved it.
> >  > You've laughed at it behind my back.
> >  >
> >  > My hat is gone.
> >  > I know not where.
> >  > If you have an idea, I'm all ears.
> >  >
> >  > Many questions may be asked,
> >  > but the reunion is the most important part.
> >  >
> >  > Thanks to one and all!
> >  >
> >  > --
> >  > || Bill Wendling
wendling at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu
> >  >
> >  > _______________________________________________
> >  > Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu
> >  > http://ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu/mailman/listinfo/newspoetry
> >
> >
> >_______________________________________________
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> >http://ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu/mailman/listinfo/newspoetry
>
>
> _______________________________________________
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