[Newspoetry] GOP NOMINATES BARBIE

[Paul Kotheimer]

GEORGE W. NAMES BARBIE NEW RUNNING MATE

(HOUSTON, TX--Associated Poets)  In the wake of the sudden and mysterious
disappearance of GOP vice presidential nominee Dick Cheney, top Republican
brass have been scrambling all week to find the perfect replacement. After
a final long night of brainstorming with his campaign staffers and party
leaders, George W. Bush announced today that his choice for the V. P. slot
is Barbie, the ever-popular icon of American youth and womanhood
manufactured by Mattel toys.

Newspoetry.com conducted this exclusive interview with Barbie:

NP:  Barbie, the GOP has been in turmoil this past week.  What do you
think is going to happen now that you've been nominated as the running
mate?

BARBIE:  We're going to get together and have a great party!  Wanna come
over?

NP:  What are your strategies for keeping the American economy strong in
the future?

BARBIE:  I've got a great idea!  Let's go shopping.  See you at the mall!

NP:  Do you have any comment on U. S. foreign policy as it relates to the
WTO, or, say, sweatshop labor?

BARBIE:  Gee, I just love all my new clothes and shoes!

NP:  And what about labor?  And the environment?  Is Barbie in solidarity
with working women and feminists in America?

BARBIE:  Ken's taking me out in his new convertible.  Doesn't that sound
cool?

NP:  Do you have a message for the Beltway insiders, big business moguls,
and lobbyists who are dumping so many millions of dollars into George W.
Bush's campaign this year?

BARBIE:  Let's be best friends!  Call ya later.


When asked to comment on the latest-breaking news that aging Barbie dolls
made of polyvinyl chloride exude toxic chemicals, an anonymous source at
Mattel commented, "That's okay, so does Texas."

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