[Newspoetry] God Overrules Supreme Court

[Rob Wittig]

forwarded from the vast web
>
> BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
> Bush to be smited later today
>
> In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation,
> under  God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last
> night's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George
> Bush.
>
> "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning
> on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to
> lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit."
>
> "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count
> in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly
> who Voted for whom.  Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by
> exactly
> 20,219 votes."
>
> Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict
> overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to
> Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory.  The Bush campaign is analyzing
> God's
> Word for possible grounds for appeal.
>
> "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign
> strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S.
> Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the
> constitution of the state of Florida."
>
> "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead
> of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."
>
> God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct,
> explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no
> grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot."
>
> "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan.  Get
> real!  The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me?  I'll name
> them:  Adams, Anthony; Allen, Frank; Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam,
> Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
>
> Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W.
> Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him
> today.  In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job,
> God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his
> wealth and possessions, Sold his family into slavery, forced the
> former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and
> afflicted him with deep
> boils.
>
> Dick Cheney will reportedly receive either leprosy or herpes.
>