[Newspoetry] let me just make one thing perfectly clear

[Joe Futrelle]

Dearest Newspoets,

Rest assured that we here at Newspoetry are fully aware that there are
29 days in February 2000, and that we will be personally on hand to
provide you with uninterrupted Newspoetry service for that entire day.
Your fearless founder William Gillespie has provided us with a special
leap year Calendelle which we hope you'll browse on over to
newspoetry.com and check out on February 29th.

And so as you may be able to surmise from the aforementioned
heretofore said informations, the 28th, while not the last day in
February 2000, is in point of fact the last day upon which we have not
scheduled a newspoem.  Which is why the winning poem in our
"Newspoetry Last Poem in February 2000 Sweepstakes!" contest will be
published on that date.

I want to personally assure each and every one of you that I, as
president and CEO of the Newspoetry Group of Companies, will be
working harder than anyone to put this scandal behind me, where it
belongs.

But clearing one's name isn't effortless.  It takes time, and, yes,
money.  Donations can be placed in unmarked paper bags behind the
third stall to the left in the men's bathroom at Willard airport,
Savoy IL.  No small bills or coins, please.

Warmest Regards,
-- Your Editor