[Newspoetry] Local man doesn't "give a shit" about that stupid Cuban kid (fwd)

[Wendy Edwards]

Local man doesn't "give a shit" about that stupid Cuban kid (Roger
Thompson)

Piscataway, NJ (01/29/00) - Local man Roger Thompson held a press
conference today in which he announced that he "truly doesn't give a
shit about that stupid Cuban kid." His total lack of interest in the
dispute between the U.S. and Cuba over Elian Gonzalez is inspiring and
wonderful, say local experts. "He's ready fed up with all this
bullshit," said one expert. "He told me over and over again, 'Why
should I care about this kid? Geez, it's not like he's an ambassador or
president or something. We don't need to hear about this crap. What we
do need to hear about is Marie Osmond's recent divorce, or Heather
Locklear's gorgeous breasts. Now that's real news!'" 

He concluded by hinting that it would be a shame if the U.S. were to
"accidentally" bomb Cuba. "Yeah, that would be a real shame. I'd really
hate to see it, but hey, accidents do happen."