[Newspoetry] SUPER-RICH SUPPORT GEORGE W.

[Paul Kotheimer]

SUPER-RICH SUPPORT GEORGE W.
Announce plan to manipulate economy for GOP

NEW YORK (Associated Poets) -- In a bold move this Independence Day, the
Coalition of the Obscenely Wealthy [COW] made known its plan for throwing
full economic support behind Republican presidential candidate George W.
Bush in the 2000 elections.  

"It is no surprise that we, the fabulously wealthy, support one of our own
against those low-brow single-digit millionaires, the Gores," said
spokeslackey Troy Williamson-Hearst Roosevelt III, "and, as you vulgar
media pundits are well aware, we are quite accustomed to getting what we
want."

The COW plan includes a multi-faceted assault on Wall Street stock prices
and consumer goods (especially gasoline) which will result in a sour
down-turn for every possible economic indicator, followed quickly by
subtle yet decisive manipulation of the news media to focus voting-booth
appeal solely on the demographic most likely to vote Republican, and to
send a message of anomie and apathy to any and all other eligible voters.

"To the sceptics who say it cannot be done, we say 'nonsense!'" a source
close to the GOP disclosed, "We, the super-rich, quite literally own the
economy of the United States--including, incidentally, the news media--and
we have the right to do with it whatever we choose.  There is no dispute
that the voting masses, being pliable as they are, respond negatively to
the incumbent party when gas is expensive, the stock market is dropping,
the economy is shrinking, and things look generally grim."  

"The Bush family has shown the utmost willingness to wage wars, eliminate
political dissidance at home and abroad, cut special deals with our
favored dictatorships around the globe, and maintain a continuing state of
de facto marshal law among the lower classes," stated one of the Obscenely
Wealthy.  "All of these things, of course, send our profits skyrocketing.
And profits, as you can plainly see, are what it's all about."

"What we're looking for," said one Texas oil millionaire, COW member, and
staunch Bush supporter, "is basically an invisible sign at every gol-dang
gas station in America, saying loud and clear: Gas, $2.39 a gallon.  Vote
for our boy, or else, 'cause you can't afford the alternative."

Daughter of the American Revolution and billionaire Clara Tompkins-Kennedy
Smith closed the press conference with a keynote address: "All of this
electoral politics would be really very much simpler, in our opinion, if
it weren't for this messy business of suffrage.  When my great-great-great
grandfather put his signature to the Constitution on behalf of the State
of Connecticut, he did so with the clear vision in mind that only white
land-owners of a certain breeding, education, and income--that is to say,
the natural aristocracy of the New World--should participate in the new
democracy, especially at the Federal level.  Now, many things have
altered, of course, since the eighteenth century, I freely admit.  But one
thing which has not changed, I am certain you agree, is the inability of
the masses to rule themselves--which is why we are here today."

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