[Newspoetry] [Fwd: [MilCom] Six monkeys love a football]

[Mike Lehman]

This gets funny if you make it past the radio geek comments in the first
paragraph.
Actually, there is very rarely anything this "Newspoetic" on my
technical lists.
There may be something else going on in the foothills of the Sierras
than Tom Roach lets on;>)
Mike
PS The "p/p" that is referred to below is a "phonepatch"- a telephone
patched into a radio.  We might have to work that out on the Newspoetry
Radio Newtwork- so named in honor of Mr. Big, not the slimeball.
UHF- a type of shortrange (200-300 miles) radio
HF- Upper Sideband (USB) Shortwave- long range radio
Hickam- an airbase in Hawaii
Travis- an airbase in California
PIREP- a weather report that a pilot makes to help forecasters on the
ground
Mung- he means the H'mong tribe of Laos, exploited as mercenaries by the
CIA

Tom Roach wrote:
> 
> 11175.0 USB at appx 0040Z Royal Thai 01 initiated a p/p thru Elmendorf
> to Travis CP. The poor Thai pilot was doing his best, but it was amateur
> night and the patch sounded like a Laurel and Hardy routine. The pilot
> had a thick accent and could use a few more "English as a Second
> Language" lessons, but did remarkably well. The people at Travis seemed
> brain dead and chattered away, when they figured out how to talk at all,
> at break neck speeds. The Travis people claimed they could barely read
> him but I think that if I am less than 100 n.m. from Travis and can hear
> their tower on UHF, that they should be able to hear Royal Thai 01, who
> had a booming signal here in the foothills of the Sierras less than 100
> nm from Travis. Travis probably has a dynamite log periodic aimed for HF
> tfc from Hickam. I am envisioning several monkeys in a passionate
> embrace with a football as the memory of this communication is still
> fresh in my mind
> 
> Finally the poor pilot sent a PIREP after an American aboard finally
> managed to get them connected to Travis Metro. The plane is a C-130
> Royal Thai AF plane at 23,000 feet heading from Hickam to Travis with 16
> crew and 43 pallets of probably clandestine cargo. Must be hauling opium
> for the CIA. I can see the Mung [sp?] tribesmen chopping up the poppies
> for the final approach before the plane lands and heads for Travis
> customs and then heads East with a bag of money from Buddhist monks, and
> some white powder getting ready for their next stop at Mena, Arkansas
> with a personal gift for our beloved Commander in Chief. I can smell the
> cigar and hear the popping of thongs as this diplomatic flight reaches
> our friendly shores.
> 
> Thomas B. Roach
> Somewhere in the Sierra mountain's foothills
> PGP key upon request
> 
> ---
> Submissions milcom at qth.net