[Newspoetry] Yeti, Zoey tied with one vote each

[Joe Futrelle]

Yeti, Zoey Tied With One Vote Each

1205 S. Race St., Urbana IL (Associated Poets):

Canine-idates Yeti and Zoey were tied today in the closest
puppidential race ever, each with a solid 50% of the popular vote.  A
poll of two eligible voters revealed that voters were split over
Yeti's extreme cuteness and Zoey's years of real-world experience.

Questions and speculations about Zoey's background linger, along with
insider reports of her aggressive management style.  But her ability
and readiness to command has never been an issue.

Yeti's destructive tendencies also came to the fore in this campaign,
as she had to dodge charges of underwear-chomping, a chronic toilet
paper habit, and worse.  But her undeniable charm has attracted at
least one voter in this tight race.

The Husky party ticket of Natasha and Nikita is polling at 0% here,
unable to shake their image as back-porch isolationists and Jones
family loyalists.  But election-watchers expect them to receive at
least two votes in what could be a dramatic upset.

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Campaign websites:

 http://www.schneertz.com/yeti
 http://www.schneertz.com/zoey

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Joe Futrelle
Editor-within-chief,
Newspoetry dot com