[Newspoetry] Ambivalence Returns to America

[Bill Wendling]

Hollywood (APs) - After much anxiety over the ending of Hollywood's
newest suspense "Who Will Become President", Americans return to the task
of not caring anymore.

"It lost it's excitement after the first few days," America said. "I
mean recount after recount with no explosions or people running around
with blood pouring from their bodies. How can they expect us to pay
attention without such things, I ask you? And the acting was really
substandard. I mean, couldn't they get Keanu or something?"

When asked for an explanation, Hollywood was quoted as saying, "it
sounded good during the brain-storming sessions we had. Sometimes these
things just don't pay out. Also, there were many changes to the
directorial staff and conflicts with the actors. All of which can bring
down a movie's quality...Then again, casting the same person in both
leads didn't help matters much."

Hollywood went on to say that the four-year miniseries of "2001: A
Presidential Oddity" will be more entertaining. "We asked Brian DiPalma
to direct it for us. There will be bad guys who were once good guys, more
threats from activists, more prisons to be constructed, and the climax
will occur when the President packs the Supreme Court with his cronies
who go on to...well, I don't want to give away the ending. Let's just
say, WOW!"

When asked, America said, "I suppose it couldn't be worse than the
eight-year Reagan miniseries. What a drag that was! I mean, people were
wearing pastels, for Christ's sake!!"

-- 
|| Bill Wendling			wendling at ganymede.isdn.uiuc.edu