[Newspoetry] Personality Profile

[Mike Lehman]

Hard-rocking gender-bender Marilyn Manson announced his endorsement in
the narrowing race for president today.

Saying his family-values-smashing stage set was just an act, he came out
presidentially with the surprising, "If I had to pick, I'd pick Bush,
and not necessarily by default," Manson told Talk Magazine, in an
interview for its upcoming November issue.

"I know I don't support what the other team is about."

Marilyn Manson is a Reverend minister of the Church of Satan,  which
counts among its past members Marilyn Monroe and Sammy Davis Jr.. The
Republican presidential candidate is trying to set up a synod that would
involve Rev. Manson, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and the Pope in an
effort to throw the November election to Bush and pack the Supreme
Court.

Conservative/paranoid talk-show host Alex Jones admitted that he, too,
had rocked out to Marilyn's tunes in the past, but that he generally
found Manson fans to be "degenerate, burnt-out goblins."

A big fan, George W. Bush Jr., immediately siezed on this news to
strengthen his growing support among the narcistic, rave fans that make
up the majority of Manson's following. "I've always thought the fellow
could keep a beat and his music really is what got me through my former
drinking problem. I intend to hire Mr. Manson to design the Reagan
Memorial if I am elected."

This reporter is convinced of one thing after all these years. It always
seemed like Rev. Manson was a little strange, but this latest maneuver
has definitely convinced me that he is one sick, twisted little puppy.