[Newspoetry] "Carnivore" renamed "Snuggles"

[Joe Futrelle]

The FBI, admist flak
and caught snarling through
your email like a pack
of hot wolves, had an idea.

"Carnivore" sounds,
well,
unfriendly like,
I must kill you to eke out a living
on these harsh grasslands.  Whereas
wouldn't
hush it's going to be OK just go back to sleep little ones
more efficiently allow us to tuck you in and shut off your light and pad secretly down the hallway in our slippers past our bedroom to the child-inaccessible control room full of 9-inch black and white monitors scrolling Echelon readouts?

What kind of software could be softer
than "Snuggles"?

Just like Diageo tasks a paralegal committee to make sure
the Pillsbury Doughboy doesn't break character in ads
(for instance nixing scenarios where the little floury icon
does Kung Fu or rides a Harley)

The FBI could ensure that whatever
Snuggles does to your email, it does
with the most blushingly adorable
of motives,
curiosity
at worst.

What are you going to do to Snuggles,
spank it?

--
Joe Futrelle
editor-as-though-chief
Newspoetry dot calm