[Newspoetry] Alien Buckyballs Implicated in Permian Extinction Scandal

[Joe Futrelle]

Siberia (Associated Poets): Few who live here have forgotten the
terrifying events of 250 million years ago, when a five-mile wide rock
struck Australia and enormous volcanic eruptions covered the earth in
10 feet of lava.

All that we have to remember the victims of this unthinkable crime by
are a few faded fossils and layer after layer of sediment, the painful
reminder of a future that had once seemed so bright for these plucky,
innocent clamlike species, now forever turned to dust.

But this week investigators who have been trying to locate the
perpetrators and bring them to justice have identified alien
buckyballs as the likely culprit.  The buckyballs, who have been
eluding authorities by posing as coal and other carbon deposits, were
located in a core sample taken by the FBI, working in conjuction with
local law enforcement officials.

The agencies are seeking to establish a link between these deadly
aliens and the terrorist gang that is thought to be responsible for
the extinction of the dinosaurs just 65 million years ago.  These
gangs are said to be extraterrestrial, to contain unusual
concentrations of helium and argon, and to be heavily armed with
meteors over 4 to 5 miles wide, well over the caliber of most heavy
artillery.

They also have connections in the underworld, which authorities say is
how they were able to synchronize their meteor attacks with gigantic
volcanic eruptions designed to eliminate the hapless species who stood
in their way.

The buckyballs are being held for questioning and their bail has been
set at $57 vigintillion dollars.  If convicted, they could face up to
a hundred million years in prison for over a billion counts of
first-degree murder and posession of a planetary body with intent to
cause extinction.

--
Joe Futrelle
editor-across-chief
Newspoetry dot calm