[Newspoetry] Newspoet Nominated: "It" Stuck to Man

[Joe Futrelle]

Newspoet Danielle Chynoweth was nominated by a decisive 61% majority
the Democratic candidate for City Council of The People's Republic of
Urbana, IL in Ward 4, the notorious hotbed of such fringe radicals as
Jayne "Viva Fidel" Burkhardt.

Danielle ousted incumbent -- and favorite of Urbana mayor Tod
Satterthwaite -- Carolyn Kearns, whose campaign had, in its final
days, swerved violently between uninspired and nasty, as if piloted by
a SUV-driver reading their email on their cel phone in rush hour
traffic.

Tod and John eye each other woozily through a haze of scotch and soda.
John has been matching Tod shot for shot, on the city, and they're
both getting pretty fucked up.  "How could they do this to me?"  Tod
whines as Wal-Mart and Coke ads flicker in the background, "They're
just like the damn LaRouchies, but worse -- at least the LaRouchies
didn't want to turn Urbana into a giant hippie vegetarian coop.  I'll
be laughed out of Champaign County!"

"Come on Tod," says John, topping off Tod's shot glass, "you gotta
think this through.  Hey, maybe you chould nail her on some kind of
sex scandal, huh?  Then we'd really be playing ball with the big boys,
just like in Washington D.C., eh?"

"I think you're on to something, my friend.  I think you're on to
something."

Down Broadway and west a little the fringe radicals nestle into their
61% for a nice long winter sleep.

--
Joe Futrelle
editor-without-chief
Newspoetry dot kom