[Newspoetry] The Jokes On U.S. - He Thinks He's A Newspoet?

[Mike Lehman]

Bush Jokes on His Verbal Stumbling

                     by CHRISTOPHER NEWTON
                     Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says the highbrow journalists
who give him a tough time for mangling the English language -- he cited
''is are children learning'' as a prime example -- just aren't savvy
enough
to keep pace with his linguistic brilliance.

''If they would read it closely they would see I'm using the transitive
plural tense so the word, is, are correct,'' Bush joked at the Radio &
Television Correspondents' Association annual dinner Thursday night.

Standing in front of many of those who have made an issue of his
trouble with words, he gave a comedic, but impassioned defense of the
''Bushism,'' reciting a hefty sampling of his past verbal missteps.

His audience loved it, proving perhaps, as Bush deadpanned, that
journalists should be grateful for his presidency.

The new president has creatively given the English language such gifts
as ''inebriating,'' a new synonym for exhilarating. And ''Grecians,''
which
can be used in place of the word ''Greeks.''

He attributed some of his ingenuity to his strong religious faith. Bush
recalled the first time he chatted with Attorney General John Ashcroft.
Ashcroft thought he was speaking in tongues, Bush said.

The speech was Bush's third attempt in recent weeks to make jokes
about his stumbles. At a dinner sponsored last week by the Gridiron
Club, a 116-year-old media institution, he told the audience that he is
smart enough to map the human genome. Earlier Thursday, he used the
word ''misunderestimate'' -- and then told reporters he was warming up
for his speech.

And it's not just his genius as a wordsmith that reporters should
applaud, Bush said. It's the power of his ideas.

''I know human beings and fish can coexist,'' Bush said, quoting
himself.
''You see, anyone can give you a coherent sentence. But this takes
things to an entirely different dimension.''

Later, Bush adopted a serious tone, and told the audience to keep his
verbal glitches in perspective.

''You know what? Life goes on,'' Bush said. ''My wife and kids still
love me. The military still protects our shores. People still go out and
have fun, like we're doing here tonight.''

Then he thanked the crowd for their ''horspitality.''