[Newspoetry] Osama's Memo to Cavemates

[John Wason]

Somebody e-mailed me this.  It's so silly I thought somebody reading the
Newspoetry list might get a chuckle out of it.

John


>Memo to: Cavemates
>From: Osama
>Regarding: The Cave
>
>Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come
>together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the
>poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang
>In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a
>jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few
>concerns.
>
>First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
>should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you
>don't want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave
>daily. I've posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.
>
>Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
>scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while
>we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background.
>Just while we're taping. Thanks.
>
>Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not
>supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
>especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
>
>Fourth, food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama"
>on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.
>Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
>
>Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise
>trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.
>First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
>
>Love you lots.
>Osama