[Newspoetry] Survivor meets reality

[Robert Porter]

It just keeps getting harder to write fiction that matches the weirdness of
truth...

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - The first episodes of the U.S. television show
"Survivor" to be set in Africa, featuring American competitors trying to
outlast each other, left its South African audience in stitches on
Wednesday. 
"Can the image of the American tourist get worse than this bunch of
screechers?" asked Robert Kirby, TV critic for the weekly Mail & Guardian
newspaper. 
"George Bush should pack the entire show into a B-52 (bomber) and drop it on
Afghanistan as a warning of what lethal American weapons he's still got up
his sleeve," he told Reuters.
Critics said the reality show -- the first set in Africa -- perpetuates many
of the laughable stereotypes associated with Americans abroad.
"Survivor III: Africa," airing in the United States already for several
weeks, debuted in South Africa on Tuesday night. Set in Kenya's Shaba
National Reserve, the show follows the familiar format.
A group of 16 contestants gets dumped in a remote location where they
struggle against the elements and vote each other "out" until there is one
"survivor" left who pockets $1 million.
In the opening episode, participants struggled to build a life-giving fire
and one of them envisaged an encounter with tigers and bears.
South Africans who know a thing or two about the bush found their antics
hilarious. Audiences acknowledged the participants might come across lions
and elephants. But tigers and bears? In Kenya? No way.
Some doubted any of them could last long in the African wilderness.
"They're useless," snorted James Cameron, a professional hunter and
ex-infantry officer who survived a microlight crash in northern Mozambique
and spent two days walking out of the bush with no food or water.
"In a situation like that you need fire and water and I could not believe
their total inability to deal with either."
Then there is the show's concept of where it takes place. The show's
tagline, "It's a jungle out there," gets a rise out of viewers because the
setting is semi-arid savannah.