[Newspoetry] Deal Reached to Leave 'N Sync star in space

[newspoet at cox.net]

 Deal Reached to Leave 'N Sync star in space
 
Associated Poets (AP)ORBITING THE PLANET		Russian space officials and an international consortium have signed a contract to leave 'N Sync singer Lance Bass at the international space station for the foreseeable future.  His new reality TV show "I'm totally in Space!" has been such a hit the network has signed a contract that is written to extend the length of Lance's natural life with a option for a cryogenic spinoff until such time as he can be resurrected! 
	Network officials have struggled with some aspects of the show.  Last April there lawsuits were popping up like acne on prom night when a US shuttle delivered an improved DVD player and new "lance pants" for the whole crew.  The lawsuits focused on the NASA channel's broadcast of the live mission footage BEFORE the scheduled air time for "I'm totally in Space!."  Nasa officials said "What the hell are those hollywoods whining about?"  In an effort to boost ratings the network staged a number of "test" emergencies, a move they would later regret.  The network lawyers later claimed that no one could have anticipated that decreasing the oxygen in the space station could have caused everyone to pass out like that.
	Lance " Holy'F'in'S' I'm in space" Bass seems to be enjoying the ride.  After a slight bout with space madness and three weeks in "adjustment" confinement Lance is bopping around the universe making observations that astound us all " Playing an instrument in space is probably pretty much like playing an instrument on Earth." 
	Tonight devoted viewers will get to watch as the network tells lance that his agent has signed him on for life.  Perhaps he will once again hear the shows signature line "No Really man when do I get Paid?"







sam patterson wishes you well