[Newspoetry] NUKE'EM-TIL-THEY-GLOW, WORMS

[Donald L Emerick]

NUKE'EM-TIL-THEY-GLOW, WORMS
NEWS RELEASE of 14 MARCH 2002
<Beware the Ides of ..., copyright 2002, Caesarian Section, Saturinal Base>:

President Bush today, in a desperate gamble to restore flagging GOP
fortunes, announced that he would use any military means necessary to
destroy terrorist sites before they could become active.  His political ploy
was cynically aimed at dividing the United States, as during the Vietnam War
era.  His political hope was that the liberals, if any such entities remain
anywhere in the body politic of the United States, would be irresistibly
drawn to criticize the stark-raving mad lunacy of the President's war
proposals.  Insiders mused that the President was truly desperate for some
domestic political opposition to his war programs: "Unless the Democrats or
liberals, or someone, opposes the president, the GOP won't be able to dress
up as knights-in-shining-armor, defending their president's war policies.
Without that kind of dividing distraction, the voters may see what a mess
this country is in and toss many of the Enronic corporate-staff crooks out
of office in the fall."

Among the measures endorsed by the lunatic President George the Third, to
his parliamentary world today, were plans to use nuclear weapons without
warning in protective reaction strikes against potential enemy concentration
sites.  Some historians observed that this maneuver failed in Vietnam for
the simple reason that the enemy never was there, when American forces
struck.  But, they also noted, such strikes made for major news, because it
seems that the use of any weapons at all always makes for splashy headlines,
what with the violent destruction of the countryside.  "Why heck, short of a
asteroid hitting the Earth, a nuke is the best damn show in town," said one
media mogul, safely hidden from view in the real shadow government of the
United States.

When asked about the consequences of the first use of nuclear weapons to
fight brush-fire small wars around the globe, Presidential Security
Spokesperson Rice said, "Well, historically, someone has to start using all
of these weapons that we have spent a large fortune developing, or else they
will all just be going to waste."  When queried by the press, Ms. Rice did
not see the irony of the contradiction that her very words indicated.
Wholly humorless, she said, "The American people did not elect George W Bush
President (isn't that truth!) to sit idly by while Roman New York burns.  We
fight fire-fights the old fashioned way, by igniting back-fires and
counterfires, burning the countryside, ala Sherman, down around the ears of
our enemies."

A wag in the audience observed that if this Administration had been in
office in the Eisenhower years, and opposed to terrorism then, as it is now,
then they would have nuked Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas,
South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia and quite a few other places, like
the suburbans regions of most major US cities.  Ms. Rice was quick in
repartee, "But who says that we would have opposed that kind of terrorism,
because it was only based upon the color of people's skins, but this is
terrorism that is based upon the misuse of religion!  My God, can't you
people see the difference between white racism and religious fanaticism?"
The wag quietly replied, "No, and I doubt that you know the difference
yourself, Ms. Rice."

Another wag was emboldened to ask how the terrorist destruction, amounting
to a loss of a few tens of billions, compared to the losses caused by the
crooks of Arthur Anderson cum Enron.  "Those financial losses were much
larger than the losses from the 9/11 destruction.  Do you plan to nuke Texas
corporate offices, and root out the evil axis of self-gratifying corporate
managers wherever they may be hiding?"  Rice did not respond to this query,
saying that was a domestic political concern, that did not directly engage
her own duties.

Ashcroft and Ridge, though, were on hand later to remark that the
Administration thought that allegations of corporate terrorists were simply
rhetorical flourishes, of overly active minds.  "Look," they chimed in
harmony, "if corporate leaders were evil, don't you think the Congress would
have done something about their evil, before it spread?  But corporations
have no evil access (misunderstanding the allophones of the odd axis and the
odder access euphemisms).  Indeed, you wouldn't find the good people of
Congress happily shoving tons of campaign dollars in their pockets from any
such corporate persons if they were evil, would you?"

Your ever listening,
until his eyes glaze over,
(and thanks for listening),
your warring correspondent,
Donald L Emerick, (WordSmith,
Poetic Operations Alliance,
Mon Freres (aka POAM Freres))