[Newspoetry] resurrection

[Jay Morris]

"It's a beautiful day in Champaign.  The temperature here is 78 degrees and
the local time is 12:08.  We'll be landing in a few minutes folks, if you'll
look to your left and right, you'll notice that everyone around you is much
younger than they were in Boston.  We ask that you keep your seatbelts
fastened and keep all compacts and hand mirrors safely stowed until the
plane reaches the terminal."

When the plane landed, I was so psyched about my younger image in the
airline's hand mirror (fifteen bucks and totally worth every penny!) that I
didn't even realize that the coffee stains that got all over the seat in
front of me from, like, the crazy turbulence, were gone.  In fact, my wife
didn't even ask why I was wearing 'retro' 80's-style clothes until we got
out to the car.  I was like "these threads are totally awesome, dude!".  I
wasn't too sure where that came from, but soon I was, like, saying a whole
bunch of, like, outdated and annoying cliches, and some stuff I'm like, so
sure I never even said in the 80's.  My wife eventually left me and ended up
backing out of the driveway and, like, totally running over our dog that
they ressurected a couple years ago.

The researchers (who were funded by the airline industry.  duh!) said they
didn't find any evidence that their 'anti-aging' flights could, like, have
an effect on your personality.  But, like, if that's true, then why am I so
totally into Def Leppard all of a sudden? I think something got, like, all
screwed up or something.

So ... your honor? ... that's why I'm asking for, like, a whole bunch of
money to, like, offset this, like, totally terrible turn of events in my
life.




jay



----- Original Message -----
From: "newspoet" <newspoet at cox.net>
To: "John" <gavroche at gavroche.org>; "NewsPoetry"
<newspoetry at lists.groogroo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2002 2:47 PM
Subject: Re: [Newspoetry] resurrection


> better than statistically safer, our airline can actually reverse the
death
> process
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "John" <gavroche at gavroche.org>
> To: "NewsPoetry" <newspoetry at lists.groogroo.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2002 12:26 AM
> Subject: [Newspoetry] resurrection
>
>
> >     Resurrection
> >
> >     A week prior to Easter
> >     A miracle has happened.
> >     A dog -- resurrected.
> >
> >                                 Airplane personnel
> >                                 fretted upon finding
> >                                 a dead dog in baggage.
> >
> >     fearing a lawsuit
> >     they found
> >     a replacement.
> >
> >                     they insist their dog
> >                     was a perfect match --
> >                     the ower'd never have noticed
> >
> >                     except for one small problem.
> >                     she was transporting her dog
> > a                  for burial, and didn't expect
> >   wagging tail.
> >
> > http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_552902.html
> >
> > John Newmark
> > gavroche at gavroche.org
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at lists.groogroo.com
> > http://lists.cu.groogroo.com/cgi-bin/listinfo/newspoetry
> >
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at lists.groogroo.com
> http://lists.cu.groogroo.com/cgi-bin/listinfo/newspoetry
>