[Newspoetry] Bush is a Suspect in Pipe Bonging

[Isidor]

Bush is a Suspect in Pipe Bonging


The FBI issued an all-points bulletin Tuesday for a 55-year-old
deranged conspiracy theorist living in the White Trash Gun Nut House
in Washington DC. Short-haired, drug-using man sought in connection
with a wave of "smart-bombs" exploded in Afghanistan, Columbia and Iraq.

The suspect, George W Bush, is a student at the University of Calabogus,
the university said Tuesday. The FBI is focusing on him because he fits
the ideal profile of a psychopathic serial killer and compulsive bomber,
as determined by his school's psychological profile created with FBI
software.

They said the suspect is a junior majoring in oil with an industrial
pollution concentration. He is a poor student, judging from his report
cards the FBI have released to the press.  The campus directory lists
Bush's hometown as Crawford Texas, though several local girls
interviewed identified him as "that geeky snake oil salesman with really
bad memory who can't eat pretzels."  His severe facial blemishes were
confirmed with the copies of his medical records provided to the press
by the FBI.

Bush has devoted most of his time to posing with messages on various
meanstream trash media forums, instead of earning a living like his
parents kept insisting he do.

Among other things the FBI are presenting as evidence of their suspicion
of his guilt as the compulsive bomber are some of these messages, most
of which revolve around accusations that Osama bin Laden brought down
the Twin Towers, that the government knew nothing about the September 11
terrorist attacks ahead of time, and that the subsequent war on
terrorism is not just a front to promote the big oil interests.

Though the all-points bulletin is for the entire eastern United States,
a spokesman stated that the investigation could hinge on whether the
suspect is currently staying at his parent's house, his dorm room, or
has left the area.


Isidor

P.S.:

"The guarding of freedom that God grants is the noble charge of the
Department of Justice."

    - Atturkey General John Asscraft