[Newspoetry] Patenting Society, Itself

[emerick at chorus.net]

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/01/technology/01patt.html

Apparently, so the NYT says,
we can now patent
the technologized versions
of all social relationships.

I call first dibs on "Hello" and "Good-Bye",
under the General Courtesy Protocols (GCP)
that I have reduced to a functioning mechanism today.

My proposed patent covers
any and all courtesy messaging service routines,
including "Thank you" and "No, Thanks!"

Of course, in this rude age,
the estimated market value of my proposed patent
would be highly insignificant
were it to assume
that people are still polite and civil.

Therefore, I am also filing
for a related proposed patent,
to be entitled General Discourtesy Protocols (GDP),
which shall cover automated and automatable
cursing routines and other maledictoriads.

The F*ck**U Sub-routines of the GDP alone
are estimated to be worth trillions daily.

Of course, I admit that enforcement will be a bitch,
but when you want to be rich, you've got to be brutal,
or people will just steal you blind, steal your blinds,
and steal your flat-strips of steel or paper, too.

Thanks for listening (patents (de)pending),
Donald L Emerick

PS: I may want to patent all Turing mechanisms
that generate prime numbers
and other great works of literature,
like dime novels and novellas, too,
whether fiction or fact or fantasy.
Does anyone have any problems with that?


(PPS: Fact and fiction are genres of fiction.)
T4L (p(d)p) DLE