[Newspoetry] Faith-Based Initiatives (FBI)

[Donald L Emerick]

WSHNGTN, 2-12-03: Insider reports from deep throats in the Bush Administration reveal a gargantuan controversy over Faith-Based Initiatives (FBI) is soon to erupt into full public view.  According to one source, who describes himself as a Man of God (or a God of Man, this reporter's notes are somewhat garbled on this point -- but he definitely did not say that he was the Son of Man, or the Son of God, even if he may privately think that he is some charley-horsed Man's Son or yet even the charioteering SunGod), the Administration is internally riven and divided between the immortal moral rivals -- the Children of Light (CoL) and the Children of Darkness (CoD).

The former CoLs think that the FBI should be the key to our national defense strategy: we will pray for our enemies, that may be redeemed and saved; we will turn the other cheek until then.  The FBI National Defense advocates thus say that complete and humble conformity to the Commandment of Love (NB: Valentine Day ups us all to a Red Alert) requires nothing less than this: that we should be willing to die before our neighbors ever do.

The latter CoDs think, hypocritically, that the FBI rules apply only to minor and trivial matters, such as whether or not you have the image of self-righteousness, so that you may be idolized by the lazy-minded.  The latter privately say that the FBI is all sham and pretense, intended to deceive the ever gullible people who are always ever too willing to believe that their own leaders could not possibly be sinful barbarians.  And, the latter say that exposing one's own hypocrisy is the last thing that one should ever do, because then there is no chance of opportunistically exploiting the people, to enrich one's own life at their expense.

Outside securities analysts are also deeply divided on the largely academic question of whether FBI would work in the hypothetical world as well as they might have worked in the real world.  Some say that moral leadership never has to be true to its own recipes and principles, as long as it requires others to be loyally true to its own princes of precipisces.  Yet others claim that FBI would put Christianity back on the world map, big time, for the first time since the Holy Roman Vatican Empire began its long fall from grace, almost a millennia ago.  (See Gibbon's text (or, is this Babboon's?) Decline and Fall of the Holy Roman Empire).)

"FBI?  We [Jews] have been there, done that... and it truly does work, as long as there is widespread faith among the people," said Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-CONN (aka, the Deacon)).

"And, how do you know that?"  asked this reporter.

"Well, if God destroys you, then you must have lost your faith.  And, if He hasn't destroyed you (yet), why, then, just keep on praying, and everything will necessarily be all right!

"And, think of the tax dollars we can save when we no longer have to spend billions on hardware, hellfire, and troops!  We can end the collection of untold trillions of taxdollars, pay down our national debt, feed the hungry and the poor as we long ago were ordered to do, and so on...

"And, we'll even be able to sing the true Internationale: 'When we all get to this Heaven on Earth, what a Day of Rejoicing that will be...'  The future can happen to us only if we pray and only if we pray only," said the ever self-righteous Deacon, in whose holy body there is not one secular bone of partisan contention.

Thanks for listening,
even if you never pray to play,
or yet play to pray to PLATO,
nor to Socrates, nor even to Aristotle,
the holy trinity of the intellectual soul,
Son, Father, Ghost who host all time,
the three-in-one is the first true prime,
Donald L Emerick

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