[Newspoetry] The Big Lie, Found in Domestic Stockpile of Weapons of Mass Dishonesty

[Lawrence Toof]

Washington. The Big Lie, long thought to be
de-Nazified and safely dismantled, fully discredited,
in Berlin in May 1945 at the end of the Second World
War, was found yesterday at an undisclosed U.S. Dept.
of Agriculture research facility. 

This apparent "dual-use" of Big Lie technology,
lifting a page from the playbook of bygone evil
empires, was "in no way a result of a deliberate
administration policy" an anonymous government
spokesman set to retire from the White House in July
said in a separate interview when discovered by agents
at the controls of the captured machine.

Agents of the 101st Airborne "Fighting Crapdetectors"
Division happened to be at the research facility for
an annual training and compost management exercise
when they discovered the Big Lie.

"We just just opened up a garage and found it there,
just like Condoleeza Rice said we would," Field Agent
Susan Pearson said. "It was out of the box, fully
assembled. It appeared to have been used quite a
number of times." 

Agent Pearson made no direct reference to the
multitude of administration statements asserting the
existence of Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq in
recent months, which follow this article, saying that
the matter was now before the courts. 

Although research propagandists from private
foundations around the nation had theorized that the
use of the Big Lie was still technically possible
within the United States upon "media-savvy" Americans,
most dismissed the likelihood that government
officials would ever attempt to use the cumbersome
technology. 

"They got past us," George P. Miksmessij, a fellow of
the Washington-based Heritage Foundation, laughed. "It
took a heck of a lot of coordingation. We never
thought they'd all be able to keep a straight face.
Especially that Condy. She's a card, a real cut-up." 




Note: forwarded message attached.


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