[Newspoetry] Early Exit Polls

[William at Spineless Books]

Even after the debacle of 00, throughout the nation, voters still rely on 
many arguably antiquated polling methods. Throughout the hotly contested 
state of ohio, voters will use a mixture of electronic voting, ink pen, 
and the punch machines associated with the now-famous dimpled and hanging 
chads. In Rhode Island, the state sticks to the stone tablet method, in 
which citizens cast their vote with chisels. In Florida, ballots are made 
of smoke. In parts of underwater michigan, algae ballots undulate in the 
cold currents. In Nevada, voters use an awl to stitch their vote into big 
and tall men's westernwear. In Alaska, voters must leap out of airplanes 
and parachute into the oval corresponding to the candidate of choice. In 
Maine the gender of deer you shoot determines your vote, and fishing poles 
are used in spring and summer months. In the Dakotas, voters choose which 
of two sticks to hit the drum with. In the more modern California 
everything is done telepathically.

On the other hand, analysts think, if the electoral college were 
abolished, campaigns would be run differently. Candidates would strive to 
be as likeable as possible and by the largest number of people, instead of 
romancing dairy farmers in isolated provinces of Wisconsin. In some cases, 
candidates might choose to speak persuasively in American English, and in 
others they might cultivate earnest charisma. 


On Tue, 2 Nov 2004, John Newmark wrote:

> Allegedly Republicans 
> vote earlier in the day
> on average 
> than Democrats.  
> 
> If this statistic remains true
> and the exit polls are accurate
> the results will only get better 
> as the day progresses.
> 
> Kerry supporters 
> and Bush haters across the nation
> will have a champagne hangover 
> tomorrow morning.
> 
> Pennsylvania
> Kerry 59 Bush 40
> 
> Ohio
> Kerry 52 Bush 48
> 
> Florida
> Kerry 52 Bush 48
> 
> North Carolina
> Bush 52 Kerry 47
> 
> West Virginia
> Bush 52 Kerry 40
> 
> Maine
> Kerry 55 Bush 44
> 
> Missouri
> Bush 55 Kerry 44
> 
> New Hampshire
> Kerry 58 Bush 41
> 
> Arkansas
> Bush 55 Kerry 44
> 
> Arizona
> Bush 55 Kerry 45
> 
> Colorado
> Bush 51 Kerry 48
> 
> Louisiana
> Bush 57 Kerry 42
> 
> Michigan
> Kerry 51 Bush 48
> 
> New Mexico
> Kerry 50 Bush 48
> 
> Minnesota
> Kerry 58 Bush 41
> 
> Wisconsin
> Kerry 52 Bush 48
> 
> --
> John Newmark
> gavroche at gmail.com
> _______________________________________________
> Newspoetry maillist  -  Newspoetry at lists.groogroo.com
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> 

William

Spineless Books Box 2458 Providence RI 02906 http://spinelessbooks.com