[Newspoetry] Dear Editor

[Anne Bargar]

Dear Editor,

     I cannot begin to express my outrage at the appointment of John  
Bolton as UN Ambassador.  I, and those I represent, wholeheartedly  
believe that this man’s appointment is a grave erratum.  His  
respectability is sham, his dour expression concealing an inner  
hooligan whose abusive nature knows no bounds.  He is a wimp with an  
overextended ego.  We cannot imagine putting up with such a  
personality; no self-respecting member of our herd would behave in  
such an puerile fashion.

     He has scoffed at the mere mention of international issues  
affecting ungulates in general, and bison in particular.  When asked  
by one of our representatives what he thought of UN Initiative 56a,  
which would have provided medical services to ungulates in  
Underprivileged Areas, he appeared to be confused and said, “Get out  
of my way.” That is no way to address a representative of an  
important international bloc, particularly if that representative  
weighs 2000 pounds and has horns!

     In short, we will be keeping a very close watch on Mr. Bolton.   
If the need occurs, let there be no doubt that we will lead a  
stampede through the streets of New York.  If we must face him down  
in midtown Manhattan, so be it.

Respectfully yours,

Matilda P. Baxter, Co-President
UN Committee On Reticulated Bison Affairs