[Newspoetry] HUSSEIN REVIVAL IN PROGRESS

[DL Emerick]

HUSSEIN REVIVAL IN PROGRESS

Saddam Hussein was invited out of retirement today by the ruling clique in Iraq.  Saddam had, until recently, faced miscellaneous charges stemming from his previous rule of Iraq.  However, when all of those charges were dismissed last week, inside observers around the world were guessing that some major shift in American poicy was imminent and forthcoming.

The Leading American Foreshadowing Spokesperson Heather Hiyawikipedia addressed these mounting issues at Hotel Baghdad this morning.  Embedded journalists were all on hand to investigate the words that were spoken by writing them all down diligently and having them printed immmediately, in accordance with the Bush adminstration policy of leaving no journalist behind or outside, if they are obedient in their coverage of any story to the Bush News Policy Guidelines.  Those Guidelines require journalists toabide by strict constructionism: just tell the story as the administration prefers to have it told, and ignore any and all inconsistencies between todays' story and the facts, or with previous "true" stories.

Said LAFS Hiya...  "Saddam has long suffered from ignomious and unproven charges that he was the Beast of Baghdad.  However, in looking at the chaos that has ensued in Iraq from his retirement from power back in 2003, the Iraqi governing council has decided that Saddam was the best governor that Iraq has ever had.  Accordingly, the Iraqi governing council has swallowed its own prejudices on this matter and asked Saddam to resume the enormous burdens of being head of the Iraqi State at his earliest possible convenience.  Saddam has promised us a reply today."

Elsewhere in Baghdad, US Marine forces were busy draping buildings with enormous bedsheets showing the face and figure of Mr. Hussein.  Elements of the Army's Corps of Engineers were busy erecting and reconstructing Hussein statuary.  Said Col. Nat Bridges, "These statues were part of the architectural heritage of Iraq.  They were inadvertently destroyed by rioters in 2003.  We feel we owe it to the people of Iraq to give tham back their icons, idols, statutes and other symbols of national pride."

GOP leadership in Washington DC was fast to react to the reversed fortunes of Mr. Hussein.  By noon a Joint Congressional Resolution was under debate -- calling on President Bush to award Mr. Hussein a Presidential Medal of Freedom, in additional to the Congressional Medal of Honor that Congress was awarding Mr. Hussein.  Said Dumber than a DoorBellMan Speaker Dennis Hastert: "Mr. Hussein has suffered enormously from the outrages of being arrested and tried, as though he were some common criminal. His wealth has been seized, his family murdered, killed, and he himself hunted down and imprisoned, all because he believed in a style of government that some broadcast media called politically incorrect.  We are proud to honor such stalwart heroes of democracy like Saddam Hussein."

Rush Limbaugh andBill; O'Reilly, in their morning shows, said we Americans had been misled by Bill Clinton on the true nature of Saddam Hussein.  "The liberals in Congress wanted to stir up war between the freedom lovers in Iraq and America -- and they almost succeeded in their villany.  Others won't say it -- but we will: the Democrats always cause treason.  It's time for the American people to wake up and finally blame the Democrats for every mess that the world is in.  It's time for the American people to put their faith and trust in President Bush, at last.  It's time to rally around the flag, boys and girls, and support your local freedom fighters in the GOP, who are ever working hard for truth,justice and the American way.  God bless the USA!!!"