[Peace-discuss] Swami Beyondananda's 2003 State of the Universe Address

[Lisa Chason]

Swami Beyondananda is the stage name of Steve Behrman, a humanistic social activist who lives in Northern California.


Swami's 2003 State of the Universe Address 
     by Swami Beyondananda 

Hello everybody -- it is great to be here ... and you know 
what? We really have no choice. Because no matter where we 
are, we are always here. And it is always now. In fact, 
there's even a book called The Power of Now. I haven't had 
time to read it yet, but I hope to get to it in a later now. 

Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the United 
States, and indeed the world is, will George Bush give in to 
his Big Iraq Attack and order up a war? Latest reports say 
that a war to force a regime change in Iraq will cost $200 
billion. It is puzzling to me why some of those fiscal 
fitness fanatics in the Republican Party haven't tried to 
find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they offered the 
Iraqis half -- $100 billion -- they could do it themselves. 
Then we'd still have $100 billion left to spend on regime 
change in this country. 

Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have 
in charge are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the 
reptilian brain, problems aren't solved, they're attacked. 
Like the War on Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy to report 
that it's finally over. The poor people have all 
surrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please! How many 
billions have they spent? My solution is cheaper and more 
effective ... improve reality! 

Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize 
those terrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last 
thing we do! And it just might be. The good news is -- and I 
have it on the Highest Authority -- there will indeed be 
peace on Earth. Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, 
that is up to us. 

No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion 
on the planet. I'll tell you how bad it's gotten. You've 
heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Well, they're 
not even sure about THAT anymore. And so, more and more 
people are turning to the mystics for answers. 

I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the 
optimystics and the pessimystics. Now pessimystics seem to 
be more in touch with "reality," but optimystics are happier 
and live longer for some reason. The pessimystics have been 
crying, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The 
optimystics say, "No. It just looks that way because we are 
ascending." 

Now, for those people who read the news -- not to mention 
those unfortunate enough to BE in the news -- last year was 
not an easy year to keep an optimystic attitude with so much 
pessimystic evidence. Call me a hopeless "hopium" addict, 
but I choose to accentuate the positive. For example, you 
can say we human beings have moved further down the path of 
self-destruction. Or you could say the Earth is ridding 
itself of a virulent parasite. 

You can despair over continuing war, disease and starvation, 
or you can go, "Hey, population control the good, old 
fashioned way -- without birth control or abortion." Who 
says "compassionate conservative" is an oxymoron? 

You can worry about the government taking liberties with our 
liberties or you can say, "Life has become simpler! They've 
boiled the Bill of Rights down to just one: You have the 
right to remain silent." 

So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry 
Cohen Baba used to say, "Life is like photography ... we use 
the negative to develop." So let us look at the bright side. 

Like technological advances, for example. Forty years ago 
President John F. Kennedy promised to have a man on the moon 
by the end of the 1960s. Well, we have far exceeded that. 
Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act, George Bush can have a 
man on Uranus by the end of the week! 

George Bush was responsible for a great spiritual advance 
last year, as well. He upgraded the Golden Rule for the new 
millennium. It's now the Gold Rule: "Doodoo unto others 
before they can doodoo unto you." 

And -- say what you will -- President Bush has made great 
strides on behalf of minority representation. Never before 
have we had a President who was looking out for a smaller 
minority. 

Now this is the State of the Universe Address, and seen from 
that higher perspective, things look great! I am happy to 
report that the Universe continued to expand in 2002, and in 
fact, they actually had to let the Photon Belt out a another 
notch. An expanding Universe means more jobs too, so we can 
expect a steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, the 
Universe just keeps purring in perfection, ever-changing as 
usual. The planets continue to harmoniously spin in their 
orbits, and except for the occasional case of asteroids, 
they just calmly go about their business. 

Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more 
problematical. We still haven't fully recovered from that 
vicious dogma attack of 911. But as an optimystic, I believe 
you can indeed teach an old dogma new tricks, simply by 
changing the emPHAsis to another sylLABle. Instead of 
focusing only on emergency measures, why not take emerge 'n 
SEE measures? 

When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from 
the cosmic comic perspective, we realize that beneath all 
the stress and distress and sadness in life there is a deep 
well of joy. Each time we let laughter bubble up from the 
well, we experience deep wellness. Levity helps us overcome 
gravity, especially when we shine the light of laughter on 
those poorly-lit corridors of power. 

Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's 
seriousness. I'm serious. Think about it. Those people have 
no sense of humor. Otherwise how could they believe they 
will get to heaven by putting other people through hell? 
Here is my vision: A suicide bomber arrives at the Gates of 
Heaven, and God clops him over the head and says, "SCHMUCK! 
What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU get one 72-year-old 
virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!" 

But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror 
Picture Show just to feed our out-of-control oil habit, how 
are we that different? How many innocents will be put 
through hell, just to preserve our little corner of relative 
heaven? There is no real peace without harmony and balance, 
only the vicious cycle of injustice. Peons get tired of 
getting peed on, right? You get pissed on, and pretty soon 
you're gonna get pissed off. This causes the hot spots to 
flare, and pretty soon you have an uprising, which usually 
results in a downfall. All these uprisings and downfalls can 
be wearing on the body politic. 

Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories 
recently is about a Native American grandfather talking to 
his young grandson. He tells the boy he has two wolves 
inside of him struggling with each other. The first is the 
wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, 
greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asks 
the young boy. "Whichever one I feed," is the reply. 

Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the 
wolf of love or the wolf of fear. It is interesting that we 
are called humanKIND. What better time than now to find out, 
can mankind treat man kindly? 

I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you're 
dissatisfied with the current programming, you can turn off 
your TV and tell a vision instead. Here is my vision: 
Remember the Manhattan Project during World War II? It took 
less than four years for a group of scientists to develop 
the first weapon of mass destruction. My vision is, we can 
do even better for an even worthier goal. We could call it 
the Manhelpin Project, and its purpose would be to develop 
the first weapon of mass construction instead. 

Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to 
detonate in Iraq, and put it toward becoming the worldwide 
leader in renewable, clean, sustainable energy sources? Now 
there's some real power. Create something so plentiful you 
don't have to pay an army to protect your share. A healthy 
income, a healthy outcome ... what could possibly make more 
sense? Boy, talk about feeding two birds with one scone! 

The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, we must 
feed the "alter native" economy ... anything that alters us 
natives for the better. The world we live in is a byproduct 
of the products we buy, is it not? What if we only choose to 
buy products with healthy byproducts? Think about this: 
There are at least 45 million Americans who consciously want 
to feed the wolf of peace. If each of us switched just $100 
into the alter native economy, that would be $4.5 billion! 

Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out 
peace." I'm happy to report it is already working. More 
people are letting their inner peace out, and these 
outbreaks of peace are actually causing esteem to rise! And 
we all know that rising esteem is good for the atmosphere. 
As esteem rises, more people on the planet will be able to 
be all that they can be -- without joining the army. And 
when more of us put our energy into love and laughter 
instead of criticizing and condemning, we will have 
Uncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, 
and along with it, Disarmaggedon. Now you might be 
wondering, what will Nonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell 
another vision. 

I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people 
all over the world dancing together in the universal dance 
of fool realization ... The Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold 
this vision with me: all of the world leaders at the United 
Nations beginning their sessions with the Hokey Pokey. What 
if Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat put their whole selves in 
in? That would be commitment. And then pulled their whole 
selves out. That is detachment. Then they turn themselves 
around, which is transformation. And that, my friends, is 
what it is all about! 

So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet 
enough to bring about Nonjudgment Day? First, you can take a 
vow of levity, and laugh more. And we even have a Laughmore 
Society to help you do just that. Next, you can support 
everyone's right to laugh by joining the Right To Laugh 
Party ... "One big party, everyone is invited. All for fun, 
and fun for all." 

Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave 
the world a funnier place. Anything to elicit a moment of of 
fool-realization with a spark of laughter. Because only when 
we lovingly laugh at our foolishness, can we seriously 
change things for the better . May you wake up laughing and 
leave laughter in your wake ... and may the Farce be with 
you! >> 
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