[Peace-discuss] Fwd: Saddam, Beware the Irish! (funny)

[Jay Mittenthal]

>Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next 
>when his telephone rang.
>
>"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down 
>at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that 
>we are officially declaring war on you!"
>
>"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is 
>your army?"
>
>"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, 
>my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team 
>from the pub. That makes eight!"
>
>Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my 
>army waiting to move on my command."
>
>"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
>Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is 
>still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>
>"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
>
>"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
>
>Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 
>14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 
>million since we last spoke."
>
>"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
>Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still 
>on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's 
>ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from 
>the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
>
>Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell 
>you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My 
>military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile 
>sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
>
>"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
>Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. 
>Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
>
>"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>
>"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and 
>decided there's no way on earth we can feed two million prisoners."