[Peace-discuss] GW Bush's resume

Tue Jul 29 11:27:58 CDT 2003

>Subject: GW Bush's resume
>
>
>PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>
>I ran for congress and lost.
>
>I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
>
>I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company
>went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
>
>I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that
>took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the
>Chicago White Sox.
>
>With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
>
>ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
>
>I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas
>the most polluted state in the Union.
>
>I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in
>America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of
>billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any
>Governor in American history.
>
>I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000
>votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.
>
>ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
>
>I attacked and took over two countries.
>
>I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
>
>I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
>
>I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12
>month period.
>
>I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock
>market.
>
>I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
>
>I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
>record.
>
>I am the first year in office set the all-time record for most days on
>vacation by any president in US history.
>
>After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided
>over the worst security failure in US history.
>
>I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other
>president in US history.
>
>In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their
>job.
>
>I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
>president in US history.
>
>I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
>
>I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than
>any president in US history.
>
>I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
>president since the advent of television.
>
>I signed more laws and executive orders amending the U.S. Constitution
>than any president in US history.
>
>I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
>intervene when corruption was revealed.
>
>I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused
>to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
>
>I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
>
>I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
>take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the
>record for protest against any person in the history of mankind
>(<http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches>http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches 
>).
>
>I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
>history.
>
>My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US
>history.
>
>Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
>history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a
>Chevron oil tanker named after her).
>
>I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the
>Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
>
>I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market
>in any country in the history of the world.
>
>I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and
>military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the
>will of the United Nations and the world community.
>
>I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
>of the United States.
>
>I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
>increases, more than any president in US history.
>
>I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
>remove the US from the human rights commission.
>
>I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
>remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
>
>I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
>congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US
>history.
>
>I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
>
>I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
>
>I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
>default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
>
>I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
>election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
>
>I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
>campaign donations.
>
>My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best
>friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds
>in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
>
>I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
>history.
>
>I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack
>(and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
>
>I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
>
>I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less
>than a year made the US the most resented country in the world
>(possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
>
>I, with a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile
>Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
>
>I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the
>people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
>world peace and stability.
>
>I am the first US president in history to have the people of South
>Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North
>Korea.
>
>I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
>government contracts.
>
>I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who
>violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations
>bidding for government contracts.
>
>I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
>
>I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders
>of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months
>I have no leads and zero suspects.
>
>In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully
>prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure
>in the history of the United States.
>
>I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
>other president in US history.
>
>In a little over two years I created the most divided country in
>decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the
>civil war.
>
>I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less
>than two years turned every single economic category heading straight
>down.
>
>RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>
>I have At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas
>driving record has been erased and is not available).
>
>I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time
>of war.
>
>I refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug
>use.
>
>All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away
>to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
>view.
>
>All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
>bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
>view.
>
>All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the
>board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
>
>Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding
>public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
>review.
>
>For personal references please speak to my Daddy or Uncle, James Baker
>(They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for
>war-profiteering.)
>Send it on
>
>--
>
>William T. Greenough            wgreenou at uiuc.edu
>Swanlund and Center for Advanced Study Professor of Psychology, Psychiatry 
>and Cell and Structural Biology
>Director, Center for Advanced Study
>Co-Chair, Biological Intelligence Research Theme,
>Beckman Institute
>University of Illinois          voice: (217) 333-4472
>405 N. Mathews                  FAX: (217) 244-5180
>Urbana, IL 61801
>
>http://soma.npa.uiuc.edu/labs/greenough/home.html

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