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One day a boy came to his teacher and said:" Teacher, pa wants to know if
you like roast pig.""I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your
father he is very kind to think of me."Days passed, and nothing more was
said about the roast pig.Finally the teacher said to the boy:"I thought your
father was going to send me over some roast pig.""Yes," said the boy, "he
did intend to, but the pig sot well."
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double
martini on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his
shirt pocket, then he ordered another double martini. After he finished that
one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double
martini. Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis
all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket
before you order a refill." The customer replied, "I'm peeking at a photo of
my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home." 
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