[Peace-discuss] Fwd: [SRRTAC-L:16262] An interesting editorial (fwd)

[Al Kagan]

I was not planning on responded to this debate, but I couldn't let this 
message go by.

Begin forwarded message:

> From: Frederick W Stoss <fstoss at buffalo.edu>
> Date: April 2, 2005 5:48:10 PM CST
> To: SRRT Action Council <srrtac-l at ala.org>
> Subject: [SRRTAC-L:16262] An interesting editorial (fwd)
> Reply-To: srrtac-l at ala.org
>
> FYI. This was sent to me by a life-long, staunch conservative that may 
> be
> changing his mind and perspectives...  ;)
>
> Fred Stoss
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> Date: Sat, 2 Apr 2005 18:42:15 -0500
> Thanks to Jim Marlatt for sharing this piece of satire.  Remember the 
> key
> players mentioned here next time you vote!
> ---------------------------------------------------
>
> LIVING WILL IS THE BEST REVENGE Series: SAY WHA?; [STATE Edition]
> Robert Friedman. St. Petersburg Times. St. Petersburg, Fla.: Mar 27, 
> 2005.
> pg. 8.P
>
> Copyright Times Publishing Co. Mar 27, 2005
> Like many of you, I have been compelled by recent events to prepare a 
> more detailed advance directive dealing with end-of-life issues. 
> Here's what mine says:
> In the event I lapse into a persistent vegetative state, I want 
> medical authorities to resort to extraordinary means to prolong my 
> hellish semiexistence. Fifteen years wouldn't be long enough for me.
> I want my wife and my parents to compound their misery by engaging in 
> a bitter and protracted feud that depletes their emotions and their 
> bank accounts.
> I want my wife to ruin the rest of her life by maintaining an 
> interminable vigil at my bedside. I'd be really jealous if she waited 
> less than a decade to start dating again or otherwise rebuilding a 
> semblance of a normal life.
> I want my case to be turned into a circus by losers and crackpots from 
> around the country who hope to bring meaning to their empty lives by 
> investing the same transient emotion in me that they once reserved for 
> Laci Peterson, Chandra Levy and that little girl who fell into a well.
> I want those crackpot strangers to spread vicious lies about my wife.
> I want to be placed in a hospice where protesters can gather for weeks 
> on end, so they can bring further grief and disruption to the lives of 
> dozens of dying patients and families whose stories are sadder than my 
> own.
> I want all those people who attach themselves to my case because of 
> their deep devotion to the sanctity of life to make death threats 
> against any judges, elected officials or health care professionals who 
> disagree with them.
> I want the medical geniuses and philosopher kings who populate the 
> Florida Legislature to ignore me for more than a decade and then turn 
> my case into a forum for weeks of politically calculated bloviation.
> I want total strangers - oily politicians, maudlin news anchors, 
> ersatz friars and all other hangers-on - to start calling me "Bobby," 
> as if they had known me since childhood.
> I'm not insisting on this as part of my directive, but it would be 
> nice if Congress passed a "Bobby's Law" that applied only to me and 
> ignored the medical needs of tens of millions of other Americans 
> without adequate health coverage.
> Even if the "Bobby's Law" idea doesn't work out, I want members of 
> Congress - especially all those self-described conservatives who claim 
> to believe in "less government and more freedom" - to trample on the 
> decisions of doctors, judges and other experts who actually know 
> something about my case. And I want members of Congress to launch into 
> an extended debate that gives them another excuse to avoid pesky 
> issues such as national security and the economy.
> In particular, I want House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to use my case 
> as an opportunity to divert the country's attention from the mounting 
> political and legal troubles stemming from his slimy misbehavior.
> And I want Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to make a mockery of his 
> medical training by misrepresenting the details of my case in ways 
> that might give a boost to his 2008 presidential campaign.
> I want Frist and the rest of the world to judge my medical condition 
> on the basis of a snippet of dated and demeaning videotape that should 
> have remained private.
> Because I think I would retain my sense of humor even in a persistent 
> vegetative state, I'd want President Bush - the same guy who publicly 
> mocked Karla Faye Tucker when signing off on her death warrant as 
> governor of Texas - to claim he was intervening in my case because it 
> is always best "to err on the side of life."
> I want the state Department of Children and Families to step in at the 
> last moment to take responsibility for my well-being, because nothing 
> bad could ever happen to anyone under DCF's care.
> And because Gov. Jeb Bush is the smartest and most righteous human 
> being on the face of the Earth, a man who has never made a mistake or 
> allowed his judgment to be sullied by personal or political concerns, 
> I want any and all of the aforementioned directives to be disregarded 
> if the governor happens to disagree with them. If he says he knows 
> what's best for me, I won't be in any position to argue.
> Robert Friedman is editor of Perspective. He can be reached at 
> friedman at sptimes.com.
>
>
>
>

Al Kagan
Africana Unit, Room 328
University of Illinois Library
1408 W. Gregory Drive
Urbana, IL 61820
USA

tel. 217-333-6519
fax 217-333-2214
akagan at uiuc.edu
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