[Peace-discuss] HALLIBURTON SOLVES GLOBAL WARMING

[C. G. Estabrook]

[From today's Democracy Now.  --CGE]

And the Yes Men have struck again. On Tuesday, a man claiming to be a 
representative for the company Halliburton gave a presentation at the 
"Catastrophic Loss" conference at the Ritz-Carlton in Amelia Island, 
Florida. The conference included leaders from the insurance industry. 
The phony spokesperson gave his name as Fred Wolf. He told 
conference-goers Halliburton had invented the SurvivaBall -- a new 
orb-like inflatable product to protect corporate managers from the 
effects of global warming. Wolf said: “It's essentially a gated 
community for one.” The hoax comes less than two years after a Yes Men 
member appeared on the BBC claiming to be a spokesperson for Dow 
Chemical. He said Dow was taking responsibility for the Bhopal chemical 
disaster -- forcing the company to remind the world it did not take 
responsibility for the disaster and that there was no compensation fund 
set-up for the victims.


Wendy Edwards wrote:
> May 9, 2006
> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
> 
>     Contact: mailto:EPDU at halliburtoncontracts.com
>     Photos:  http://www.halliburtoncontracts.com/EPDU/
> 
> HALLIBURTON SOLVES GLOBAL WARMING
> SurvivaBalls save managers from abrupt climate change
> 
> An advanced new technology will keep corporate managers safe even
> when climate change makes life as we know it impossible.
> 
> "The SurvivaBall is designed to protect the corporate manager no
> matter what Mother Nature throws his or her way," said Fred Wolf, a
> Halliburton representative who spoke today at the Catastrophic Loss
> conference held at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Amelia Island, Florida.
> "This technology is the only rational response to abrupt climate
> change," he said to an attentive and appreciative audience.
> 
> Most scientists believe global warming is certain to cause an
> accelerating onslaught of hurricanes, floods, droughts, tornadoes,
> etc. and that a world-destroying disaster is increasingly possible.
> For example, Arctic melt has slowed the Gulf Stream by 30% in just
> the last decade; if the Gulf Stream stops, Europe will suddenly
> become just as cold as Alaska. Global heat and flooding events are
> also increasingly possible.
> 
> In order to head off such catastrophic scenarios, scientists agree we
> must reduce our carbon emissions by 70% within the next few years.
> Doing that would seriously undermine corporate profits, however, and so
> a more forward-thinking solution is needed.
> 
> At today's conference, Wolf and a colleague demonstrated three
> SurvivaBall mockups, and described how the units will sustainably
> protect managers from natural or cultural disturbances of any
> intensity or duration. The devices - looking like huge inflatable
> orbs - will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient
> gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a daunting
> defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not
> go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by
> catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts.
> 
> "It's essentially a gated community for one," said Wolf.
> 
> Dr. Northrop Goody, the head of Halliburton's Emergency Products
> Development Unit, showed diagrams and videos describing the
> SurvivaBall's many features. "Much as amoebas link up into slime
> molds when threatened, SurvivaBalls also fulfill a community
> function. After all, people need people," noted Goody as he showed an
> artist's rendition of numerous SurvivaBalls linking up to form a
> managerial aggregate with functional differentiation, metaphorically 
> dancing through the streets of Houston, Texas.
> 
> The conference attendees peppered the duo with questions. One asked
> how the device would fare against terrorism, another whether the
> array of embedded technologies might make the unit too cumbersome; a
> third brought up the issue of the unit's cost feasibility. Wolf and
> Goody assured the audience that these problems and others were being
> addressed.
> 
> "The SurvivaBall builds on Halliburton's reputation as a disaster and
> conflict industry innovator," said Wolf. "Just as the Black Plague
> led to the Renaissance and the Great Deluge gave Noah a monopoly of
> the animals, so tomorrow's catastrophes could well lead to good - and
> industry must be ready to seize that good."
> 
> Goody also noted that Jean-Michel Cousteau's Ocean Futures Society
> was set to employ the SurvivaBall as part of its Corporate Sustenance
> (R) program. Another of Cousteau's CSR programs involves accepting a
> generous sponsorship from the Dow Chemical Corporation, whose general
> shareholder meeting is May 11.
> 
> Please visit http://www.halliburtoncontracts.com/EPDU/ for photos,
> video, and text of today's presentation.
> 
>                           # 30 # 
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Peace-discuss mailing list
> Peace-discuss at lists.chambana.net
> http://lists.chambana.net/cgi-bin/listinfo/peace-discuss