[Peace-discuss] Re: writers' strike

[C. G. Estabrook]

[The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers respond to the 
writer's strike...]

December 10, 2007

We are heartbroken to report that despite our best efforts, including 
sending them a muffin basket, making them a mix CD, and standing outside 
their window with a boombox blasting Peter Gabriel songs, our talks with 
the WGA have broken down. Quite frankly, we're puzzled as to why this 
happened. We talked about it all the way home – after we walked into 
their hotel room, slapped our list of demands on the table and abruptly 
left the negotiating session – and none of us could figure out what went 
wrong.

While we're not going to point fingers or assign blame, we do feel 
justified in saying that they are entirely at fault. The AMPTP has 
successfully concluded 306 major agreeements with unions since its 
founding in 1982, and there has never been an incident like this. Except 
for that writers' strike in 1985. And the directors' strike in 1987. And 
that other writers' strike in 1988. Aside from three isolated incidents, 
however, this strike is completely without precedent.

We believe our New Economic Partnership™ proposal – under which the 
average salary for writers making between $220,000 and $240,000 would be 
$230,000 – is the single greatest document since the Magna Carta. And we 
have proved, over the last five months, that we want writers to 
participate in producers' revenues. Mostly by repeatedly saying, "we 
want writers to participate in producers' revenues." Still, we must be 
clear: Under no circumstances will we knowingly participate in the 
destruction of this business. If we destroy this business, it will only 
be through accident and incompetence – that's the AMPTP Pledge®!

While the WGA's members can clearly stage rallies, concerts and mock 
exorcisms, maintain unity in a large and diverse workforce, gain the 
support of a majority of the general public, prompt a sharp dip in our 
stock prices, derail half a dozen major movies and force us to refund 
advertisers' money after they learn that they'll be getting "American 
Gladiators" instead of "Chuck," we question their ability to get things 
done. It is now absolutely clear that the WGA's organazis are determined 
to advance their own personal ideologies, political agendas, sexual 
preferences, barbaric tribal customs, canine wardrobe choices, religious 
beliefs and blood rituals upon working writers and other working persons 
who depend on our work industry for their work.

Instead of negotiating, the WGA organizateurs have made demands, then 
expected us to counter with our demands, and for them to adjust their 
demands, and for us to do likewise, until we reach a mutually acceptable 
resolution in some sort of "give-and-take" process. Needless to say, we 
consider this to be a roadblock to progress (of both boldface and italic 
proportions). Thus, we have asked that they withdraw these demands:
# They demand full control over reality and animation programming, 
despite the fact that neither genre requires any writing at all. It is, 
after all, a well-documented fact that "Flavor of Love" is a Frederick 
Wiseman documentary about a man who happens to be choosing a bride from 
among 20 whores, and that "Family Guy" is entirely improvised by a cast 
of extremely precocious illustrations.

# The WGA is demanding the right to join in strikes of other labor 
organizations. This is simply unacceptable, as we plan on gutting the 
contracts of many other unions in the upcoming year.

# Their proposal for Internet compensation could doom the Internet media 
business before it ever gets started. (Projected start date: October 4, 
2012.) We have already offered the writers a very generous $250 per 
episode for using their work on the Internet. Sure, $250 may not sound 
like much, but it adds up – a whole season of "Heroes" would cost 
NBC.com nearly $6,000! Who's going to pay that money? Go look at at the 
"Heroes" web site – unless you count Nissan, Cisco, Sprint, and American 
Express, nobody's willing to step up and advertise on such a risky and 
unproven medium. And who knows how much longer those fly-by-night 
operations will be around? (I mean, have you seen the Nissan Rogue? It 
looks like a Pontiac Aztek fucked a PT Cruiser, am I right?)

# The writers are demanding that, when we sell content within our own 
companies, we have a neutral third party ensure that we aren't deflating 
the price in order to cheat them out of their share. This lack of trust 
hurts, quite frankly, especially after all we've done for writers over 
the years. I mean, we've stuck with them through thick and thin – even 
going so far as to bankroll their unprofitable vanity projects, like 
Forrest Gump, Lord of the Rings, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

In summary, the writers are demanding respect they haven't earned, 
privileges they don't deserve, and money for work they haven't done. And 
those are perquisites we reserve solely for the severance packages of 
departing CEOs. Simply creating a hit show isn't enough – if they want 
tens of millions of dollars, they will have to earn them by driving a 
company so far into the ground that it's worth $85 million to 
shareholders to be rid of them.

We urge the WGA's pedophorganizers to abandon their Quixotic pursuit of 
radical demands. We will not let you tilt at windmills. (We have placed 
all studio windmills under heavy security). The fact of the matter is, 
we're going to win this thing. We've got enough material to wait out the 
strike. On the feature side, we've got great scripts ready to shoot. How 
do we know they're great? Because they were already hits! Get ready for 
"Talladega Nights" starring Dane Cook! Wait until you see "Titanic" with 
Keira Knightley and Zac Efron! And on the TV side, we've got enough 
reality shows to choke a horse. Literally – one of the shows is "Can You 
Choke This Horse?" And for the fall, we're already working on "Can You 
Choke This Horse With the Stars?" (Pepsi, you want a logo on the horse? 
Consider it done.)

We look forward to hearing from the WGA. Once they've unilaterally 
dropped the majority of their demands and acceded to our wishes, we look 
forward to having a full and frank exchange of ideas with them.


C. G. Estabrook wrote:
> [Here's an account of the respect in which the Democratic party is 
> observing the picket line. --CGE]
> 
> 	Writers’ strike reveals profound cultural and social divide
> 	By Rafael Azul
> 	14 December 2007
> 	...