[Peace-discuss] Fwd: [WBPF] A little humor, in the chicken-crossing-road category

[Morton K. Brussel]

For the holiday, oops Xmas, season.

Begin forwarded message:

> From: Carol Herzenberg <carol at herzenberg.net>
>
> Subject: [WBPF] A little humor, in the chicken-crossing-road category
>
>
> A little humor - Carol
>
> ....................................
>
>  Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>
>
>
>> DR. PHIL:
>> The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that  
>> he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road  
>> before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.  
>> What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by  
>> not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
>>
>>
>
>> OPRAH :
>> Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is  
>> why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the  
>> chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of  
>> life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just  
>> drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the  
>> chickens.
>>
>>
>
>> GEORGE W. BUSH:
>> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just  
>> want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.  
>> The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle  
>> ground here.
>>
>>
>
>> COLIN POWELL:
>> Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite  
>> image of the chicken crossing the road...
>>
>>
>
>> ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
>> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet  
>> been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>>
>>
>
>> JOHN KERRY:
>> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now  
>> against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about  
>> the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain  
>> against it.
>>
>>
>
>> NANCY GRACE:
>> That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it  
>> in his eyes and the way he walks.
>>
>
>> PAT BUCHANAN:
>> To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>>
>>
>
>> MARTHA STEWART:
>> No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I  
>> had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when  
>> the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any  
>> insider information.
>>
>
>> DR SEUSS:
>> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,  
>> the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
>>
>
>> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
>> To die in the rain. Alone.
>>
>>
>
>> JERRY FALWELL:
>> Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain  
>> truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends,  
>> that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become  
>> gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this  
>> abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly  
>> harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be  
>> crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
>>
>
>> GRANDPA:
>> In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody  
>> told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>>
>>
>>
>> BARBARA WALTERS:
>> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to  
>> the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of  
>> how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to  
>> accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
>>
>
>> JOHN LENNON:
>> Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in  
>> peace.
>>
>>
>
>> ARISTOTLE :
>> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>>
>
>> BILL GATES:
>> I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross  
>> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and  
>> balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of  
>> eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never  
>> cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.
>>
>>
>> ALBERT EINSTEIN:
>> Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move  
>> beneath the chicken?
>>
>
>> BILL CLINTON:
>> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your  
>> definition of chicken?
>>
>
>> AL GORE:
>> I invented the chicken!
>>
>>
>>
>> COLONEL SANDERS:
>> Did I miss one?
>>
>
>> DICK CHENEY :
>> Where's my gun?
>>
>
>> AL SHARPTON:
>> Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
>>
>>
>>
> And if that all hasn't overdone it for you, check out:
>
> http://philosophy.eserver.org/chicken.txt
>
>
>>
>>
>> "If you judge people, you have no time to love them".
>> Mother Theresa
>

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