[Peace-discuss] Campaign humor

[Morton K. Brussel]

An Open Letter to God, From Michael Moore
by Michael Moore
Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Dear God,

The other night, the Rev. James Dobson's ministry asked all believers  
to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance  
speech outdoors in Denver would have to be cancelled.

I see that You have answered Rev. Dobson's prayers -- except the  
storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to  
New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at  
exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at  
the Republican National Convention.

Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and  
impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of  
the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican  
Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don't  
blame You, I know You're angry that the Republicans tried to blame  
YOU for Katrina by calling it an "Act of God" -- when the truth was  
that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over  
a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by  
humans, not You.

Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with  
McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and  
sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on  
my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized -- and I  
ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water,  
and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while  
Bush's FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks  
later.

But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the  
Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the  
convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in  
New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been  
adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say,  
"There you go again!"

So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have  
a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain  
partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live  
footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again  
while New Orleans drowns.

So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and  
more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.

But now it appears that You haven't been having just a little fun  
with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to  
New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear,  
just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of  
all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to  
punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina  
because of America's "wholesale slaughter of unborn children." His  
sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.

So this is my plea to you: Don't do this to Louisiana again. The  
Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best  
they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that  
everyone can get out. They haven't sent the entire Louisiana National  
Guard to Iraq this time -- they are already patrolling the city  
streets. And, in a nod to I don't know what, Bush's head of FEMA has  
named a man to help manage the federal government's response. His  
name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have  
sent a man with both my name AND W's to help save the Gulf Coast.

So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It's done enough damage  
already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke  
your name again. I'll leave that to the followers of Rev. Dobson and  
to those gathering this week in St. Paul.

Your faithful servant and former seminarian,

Michael Moore
MMFlint at aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

P.S. To all of God's fellow children who are reading this, the city  
New Orleans has not yet recovered from Katrina. Please click here for  
a list of things you can do to help our brothers and sisters on the  
Gulf Coast. And, if you do live along the Gulf Coast, please take all  
necessary safety precautions immediately.
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