[Peace-discuss] obama appoints another clinton

[E. Wayne Johnson]

Obama Names Bill Clinton to Presidential Post

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2008/11/obama-names-bill-clinton-to-president-post.html

WASHINGTON DC - Ending weeks of speculation and rumors, President-Elect 
Barack Obama today named Bill Clinton to join his incoming 
administration as President of the United States, where he will head the 
federal government's executive branch.

"I am pleased that Bill Clinton has agreed to come out of retirement to 
head up this crucial post in my administration," said Obama. "He brings 
a lifetime of previous executive experience as Governor of Arkansas and 
President of the United States, and has worked closely with most of the 
members of my Cabinet."

Clinton said he was "excited and honored" by the appointment, and would 
work "day and night" to defeat all the key policy objectives proposed by 
Mr. Obama during the campaign.

"I am gratified that the President-Elect has entrusted me with this 
important responsibility," said Clinton. "I'm looking forward to getting 
back behind, and under, the Oval Office desk again. As I have told the 
President-Elect, I pledge to do whatever I can to serve his historic 
administration by making sure that none of that bullshit he talked about 
during the campaign will ever see the light of day. Americans can rest 
assured that he will be safely confined to the East Wing, as far away as 
possible from any potentially dangerous office equipment or nuclear 
buttons."

The long anticipated naming of Clinton to head Obama's Oval Office team 
comes after a week that saw Obama appoint dozens of Clinton associates 
to his transition team including John Podesta, Rahm Emanuel, Eric 
Holder, Larry Summers, and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Hundreds of other 
Clinton Administration holdovers are rumored to be in line for remaining 
appointments, including Bill Richardson, Janet Reno, Webb Hubbell, 
Chelsea Clinton, zombie Vince Foster, and zombie Socks the cat.

"Let's face it, it's obvious I'm in way over my head here," explained 
Obama. "Anyone paying attention knows I am a disaster waiting to happen, 
and who can blame them? I mean, just look at the stock market. That's 
why I think it's in the best interest of the country that I hand over 
the reins to people who, whatever their ethical shortcomings, at least 
have a faint clue about what they're doing. Come on, man. I've got a 
401-k, too."

While the naming of Clinton appears to have momentarily calmed jittery 
financial markets, it sparked ripples of disapproval at liberal websites 
like Huffington Post and DailyKos. The progressive blogosphere was an 
early key source of support for Mr. Obama's candidacy, but a steady 
stream of Clinton-era appointees since the election has left some 
charging that he had betrayed his campaign promises to bring them to 
Washington as part of a sweeping culture of change -- a charge that Mr. 
Obama vehemently accepted.

"Oh, for crissakes. Are you kidding me? Are you friggin' kidding me?" 
asked Obama. "Of course I betrayed those goddamned idiots. Have any of 
you actually spent five minutes with them? I have, unfortunately. 
Nothing personal, but I wouldn't trust these internet windowlickers with 
a plastic spork from Taco Bell, let alone a freaking $3 trillion dollar 
budget global superpower. Look, I may be naive, but I'm not stupid. And 
if Kose or Koz or whatever the fuck his name is thinks for one second I 
give a rat's ass about who he wants in charge of the Treasury 
Department, he's even stupider than he looks."

"Look, I'm sorry I kinda snapped there, and pardon my French," added 
Obama. "But I just spent the last two years surrounded by these 
starstruck moonbat retards, and I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna spend the 
next four with them parked in the next cubicle over."

Obama also announced that he had accepted his own appointment of himself 
as an Assistant Undersecretary in the Department of Housing and Urban 
Development.

"It's a fairly low-stress job that I'm reasonably qualified for," said 
Obama. "I really can't do much damage there, and it will give me plenty 
of free time for Oprah specials. Plus work on my next autobiography and 
re-election campaign."