[Peace-discuss] Obama gets another one right

[John W.]

Just wanted to say that I for one appreciate your candor and insight,
Marti.  It's always good (and necessary) to hear the perspectives of those
who have actually LIVED the experience, and are not just speaking from some
sort of theoretical framework.  And I agree...it's much more difficult to be
judgmental once one has walked in another person's shoes, even if it's only
vicariously and empathetically.

John


On Sun, Jan 25, 2009 at 11:35 PM, Marti Wilkinson <martiwilki at gmail.com>wrote:

*This list serve is intended to be a peace forum*
>
> Unfortunately the subject matter of pregnancy and abortion has not always
> been treated in a peaceful fashion. Women who have faced unplanned
> pregnancies still deal with a great deal of stigma regardless of the choices
> they make. Of all the participants in this dialogue I'm the only person who
> has been able to share from direct experience in dealing with an unplanned
> pregnancy. As such I cannot judge a woman who makes the choice to have an
> abortion. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging to go
> through an experience knowing that you will be both mother and father to the
> resulting child. I've had to deal with people from caseworkers to
> prospective employers question my morals and values system and that is a
> form of violence. Speaking from experience I remember the pain that has come
> from facing stigma and prejudice. As such I will argue that part of having
> peace in this world involves treating women and their decisions with dignity
> and respect.
>
> Someone commented that the earning power of women is starting to catch up
> with men. Well when you bring a child into that equation that throws the
> balance off even further. Single mothers often have to watch more than half
> their income go towards paying the basics like rent and child care. This
> does not take into account food, utilities, groceries, etc.  Single mothers
> (or fathers) are also unable to work the types of hours that could lead to
> advancement in their careers and professions. The amount of money that is
> deducted from paychecks for employer provided health premiums is more for a
> single parent than a single employee without kids. One company I worked for
> used to have a system of rewarding employees who maintained 'perfect'
> attendance through not using sick leave. That is impossible for working
> mothers and single parents.
>
> When Bush first ran for office he made reference to the middle class family
> making 50,000 a year. If you look at the reality behind that statement the
> truth is you have two people working putting together a combined income of
> 50K.  How many people in this community have financed their homes based on
> two incomes? Affordable housing, access to education, medical care, and
> quality child care are things that many people end up struggling for and
> that does not support peace. It's the children of single parents who often
> make convenient targets for military recruiters who are looking for warm
> bodies to send overseas. Like many parents I signed a form that prohibits
> direct solicitation. However, that doesn't change the fact that historically
> socioeconomic status plays a tremendous role in who gets sent to fight in a
> war. My grandmother once complained to my mother that she wished she could
> have afforded to put her kids through college, instead three of her sons
> ended up in Vietnam. Eventually one of my uncles died from medical issues
> which were made worse from his exposure to agent orange.
>
> What I find frustrating in this discussion is not so much the issue of
> appropriateness but the overall lack of a meaningful understanding of the
> subject matter. How many people here can truly speak to or effectively
> articulate the experiences of women who have had to face this? No one here
> can speak for my own experiences, just as I cannot speak for someone who
> lives in Gaza or Palestine. The best I can do is be an advocate for peace,
> justice, and human rights. The best that most of the participants here can
> do is be an advocate for the rights of women. Needless to say when I read
> statements that argue for the nuclear family or fathers rights I really have
> to wonder if people truly "get it" - and I find that discouraging.
>
> Marti
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