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By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded. "Or just a bed--I don't
care where.""Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the
manager," and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth,
he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the
past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.""No problem," the tired traveler
assured him. "I'll take it."The next morning, John came down to breakfast
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When asked about how he slept, he replied,
"Never better."The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy
snoring, then?""Nope. I shut him up in no time.""How'd you manage that?""He
was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," John said. "I
went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful.' With
that he sat up all night watching me." 
Among commodities markets, NYMEX light sweet crude oil futures added 66
cents to  41.59 a barrel. COMEX gold added  3.40 to  407.80 an ounce. 
There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he
was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch
at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought he comes up
with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he
makes up a sign and posts it in the field. The next day the kids show up and
they see this sign, which says, "Warning, one of the watermelons in this
field has been injected with cyanide." So the kids run off and make up their
own sign, which they post next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer
shows up the next day to look over his field. He notices that no watermelons
are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives over to the
sign and takes a look. It says, "Now there are two"